Whether you like it or NOT!

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The sun will shine as bright as can be, weather you like heat or not. (Pun intended)

The moon will only shine brightly at night , whether you like it or not.

The day will be 24 hours, no more, no less, whether you like it or not.

It is very important to always live in the present because whether you like it or not it will become the past what was once regarded as future. The present is now, being in a consious awareness of oneself, surroundings and situation.

All in all, whether you like it or not, what has to happen will happen. The question is will you be making it happen, or will you be letting it happen to you?

MMXX

MMXX

Happy New Year earthlings! 2020 is here! Who ever was waiting for the 1st to launch whatever project, it is here! You can’t buy time mate, it will come and go, so while you’re at it, make the best of it. We thank God for the gift of life and we remain positive for a prosperous year!

Is resolutions still a thing? I remember when my new year resolutions back in 2000 was ‘do not talk too much in class’. Or ‘have A’s in all my subjects.’ Back then if you didn’t have a long list of the things your mum said you shouldn’t do as new year resolutions then you did not live! My mum was expecting a brand new daughter every year! She realised that the who is different from the what. I’ll be in class trying to be who I’m not! Every year my classmates had a new attitude for one month then went back to their old selves. Impression mattered then! Not that it doesn’t matter now, but I don’t care what you think.

Resolutions over the years have happened at any time during the year. The new year is just another calendar to tear. Resolutions like “Stay away from your phone for 2 seconds” and “don’t watch tv all weekend” are the new bad habits. “Spend less” “Exercise more” “Eat healthier”.The world is changing and so are the people, and their mentalities.

As you grow older and your circumstances change, your way of thinking should change too. How will you make your life better? Internal and external changes. Self-development in all areas of your life. A constant assessment of your choices,habits,strengths and weaknesses. How will you improve the lives of others?

Have an amazing year!

How to STOP Procrastinating

How to STOP Procrastinating

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The same way I keep putting off this post to another day to watch Aquaman a second time while going to and from the kitchen, my mouth continuously moving almost choking on my coca-cola zero, is the same way we all sit back and lazy around for another day reassuring ourselves that it is just a day, no harm right? Besides,’ you must rest the body that works the money.’ *winks*

Why should you put off for tomorrow what you can do right now? The world will still rotate if you are not there, people will still continue to live and breathe in your absence. So while you are here why not choose to positively and usefully waste your time?

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FIRSTLY YOU need to make goals! What is the use of a goal when you do not even have the money or time to accomplish it? I hear that question. Ask me what a goal is in the first place. In the easiest understanding, a goal is the destination of a journey. So maybe you ask yourself where you are going?   When you were little and your parents asked you what you want to be in future and you said a pilot, they started preparing you in that field with all they could offer to push you in that direction. The goal then was probably to send Amanda to aviation academy. Now Amanda is a pilot and their goal has been accomplished. That was a long-term goal. A short-term goal is a daily accomplishment. Many experts believe that in trying to accomplish smaller goals on a daily basis you can easily reach for bigger ones. Goals as small as saving a twenty-five cents(or 100frs) a day to accomplish a bigger goal to have a thousand dollars saved in a month. Once you have a destination, the forces of the universe and your determined subconscious will provide you with all the resources you need to complete your journey. It is up to you to create the time, to make the money because the food will not cook itself, the car will not drive itself and this blog cannot come up with any content for itself either! *lol*

SECONDLY , WRITE THAT DOWN.  I cannot overemphasize this. When you write them down it is already a first step towards accomplishing it because your whole body and mind will sync towards that direction. Do not rely on your brain. It has failed many and you are not an exception. It’s like going to the market without a list, then you end up buying so much junk, exceeding your budget and buying more food and stuff than required. Writing it down prepares you for the journey ahead as you will see yourself outlining plans on how to maneuver your way to achieve what you want. When you choose to make that your focal point, waking up early everyday will not be such  a chore because you have somthing to do, your mind will not rest until you have what you want. Time will now become more precious to you.

Everyday when you read them out and see how close you are to accomplishment you increase your self-worth and self-esteem. The stumbling blocks cause you to be stronger and fuel your drive to achieve against all odds. With such positivity and fulfillment filling you up you tend to feel happier and you will always  want to remain proactive in so many things. Procrastination breeds laziness and because you are so busy hitting goals there will be no time you would not want to usefully and creatively waste. Whenever your consious mind wants to give itself an excuse not to work so hard, your subconsious mind will poke it wide awake to the reality, showing you the consequences of giving up one day.

THIRDLY, EVERYTHING entails sacrifice, patience and HardWork.  You will keep procrastinating because you do not have one of these. Fear of failure because you want instant gratification so you choose to remain  average because you hsve tried all mehods and none worked. how many times did you try the same method in different ways? How much energy did you put into it, or did you just know from the onset that it was a failure? Mind power can leave you feeling drained after an exciting event or excited after a draining event. Just depends on how you see the world,

Make friends that are as determined as you are to succeed and live a fulfilling life. Find people that you will have meaningful conversations with and enlightening talks.

If your goal is to watch 10 movies a day, make sure there is an outcome for that. Did you learn a new word? a new place? a new culture? Old habits die hard and new habits hardly see the light of day. To be able to put the habit of delaying everything to rest you will need to put in the effort every d day. Stop making excuses, your child will always be fine , your parents will be alright, your friends can take it…

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

MAN’S CHOICE OR GOD’S PLAN?

MAN’S CHOICE OR GOD’S PLAN?
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Janet was pregnant. Again. The fifth child in seven years. The third man. Her life had taken a different spin after the third child. Everyone stopped helping her babysit and stopped giving her money too. She felt her family was wicked and heartless to her and her children after all, isn’t God who gives children? She should be blessed and revered for being so  fertile and birthing them because other women will have abortions.

 

Peter quit his job. His only source of income. The pastor told im that he cannot serve two masters at the same time. Peter chose God. His wife took his son and left the house for her parents because she could not stay with an unproductive man. How was his going to church from dawn till dusk unproductive? How can his total submission to the most high be wrong? He believed that God just exposed his enemies, so let them flee from him.

 

Faith and George have been dating for 10 years. George is an armed robber and Faith is a teacher. She knows what he is doing is wrong but God put her in Georges life to change him. She believes that he will leave his bad ways and become a better man and husband to be. If she leaves him now after all the years they have been through together, God will punish her and she might not even find another man like George.

 

Carine was diagnosed with HIV. Since then she has already had sex with 50 different men because she wants to spread the disease. Why will God do this to her? How can her own husband infect her? She has been faithful to him since they married, why did he not do the same? Maybe it is Gods way of getting him to calm down and remain faithful, Carine thought.

 

Martin was heartbroken. But a heartbreak is not the end of the world. It is Gods way of showing you all the other people in the world you were missing. So he goes on a heartbreak spree, after all someone has to break someone elses’ heart.  God will understand him and his actions. His family had told him not to date the lady but he was in love. God had already showed him the signs from the beginning when his family said no.

 

Miriam is a business woman. She sells dishonestly in order to make a heavy profit. God is good to her and keeps her business alive so she can provide for her family. Not everyone is so blessed to have daily bread.

 

King just watched his younger sister die in a hospital bed because there was no blood donor for a transfusion. She was 18 and still a virgin. She was pure. His friend said God takes away the good ones and besides it was her time. Dont question God because his ways are not ours. Maybe God didn’t want blood in the hospital so she could rest. If there was a donor she would have been alive.

 

Queen and Joe’s mother was a witch. Everybody knew she was evil and they were all waiting for God to take her life. People like her are from satan. God forbid she touches anyone. She is old and sick and it serves her right as she will reap all the evil she sowed. God will always repay you for the evil or good you do.  They are very rich siblings and nobody believes they worked hard to get rich. When their mother passed, people said they sacrificed their mother for money rituals and God will expose them one day.

 

There are more than a trillion stories I could recount , and many more that you could recount to me.  Some of the questions I ask myself are  Has this ‘self righteousness’ made us forget that there is nature? Has it made us forget our own free will? Are we always looking for someone to take the blame?  Everyone is guilty and nobody is perfect is the word, but nobody accepts that they have done wrong(or whatever wrong means).  Are we quick to condemn others? Or do we just hide our true nature?

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Sixty and sinking or SOARING?

Sixty and sinking or SOARING?

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60 the new 20, I open the post and the first thing I see is a tree, this girl is crazy.

How old do you think the tree in that picture is?  Obviously older than you are, and it is still rooted there strong and sturdy. It has withstood all forms of weather and still shaded people and animals, aging yes…but still alive. Maybe it is still there because it was not cut off by some human,(thank God) or maybe because it chose not to wilt away. Whatever the reason it is here now and it is here to teach us a lesson.

          How old is too old to be able to do anything? Am I too old at 30 to still be in the dating game? ‘go settle down’ ‘you are irresponsible’ ‘you need to build a family’. Am I too old at 50 to have children? ‘your ovaries are dried up’ ‘you need to relax and enjoy your grownup kids’ ‘all your friends will have grownup kids by then’ ‘your time has passed’ Am I too old at 60 go to a bar or dance? ‘go drink oolong tea in your backyard grandpa’ ‘your bones are dead’ Am i too old at 70 to wear a bikini? ‘your skin is wrinkled mama,cover it up’ ‘accept that you are worthless and move on’. Am I too old at 80 to enjoy sex? ‘eeww, how can that happen?’ ‘That man surely takes viagra’

            Older men and women go through this everyday, slowly killing their drive to live another day. The feeling that they do not have much physical or mental strength as they used to, the fact that they have to retire from their regular jobs , the constant reminder that they are old and everyone feels sorry for them from the pitiful looks on the faces of youngsters who are flaunting youthful skin and running on strong legs. At the end of the day is age actually just a number or is it a state of mind? Just like the tree in the picture knows what it has to do , it deepens its roots further into the ground to be able to withstand each season and still serve its purpose in every age. Be like the tree.

              Society has set its timelines as to when everything is supposed to happen in our lives, and it is up to us to make changes and stop sheepishly following the crowd for fear of being left out. In a world like ours, it is generally not easy moving on your path because of the heavy pressure asserted on us by family , friends and the society in general. Plus in a place like Cameroon where you will need a job, and money and connection it is not as easy as I say it. Most people have had an encounter with disappointment so great that every dream they can conceive is contaminated with the toxic anxiety of failure. S for the rest of their lives they prefer to always play safe.

I have been swayed left to right before and having kids does not make it better but you need to keep fighting for you. Nobody wants to be seen as odd or uncultured. All parents want their kids in the same spheres as their classmates, and children start feeling unaccomplished when they have  no job at 20,are not married by 25, no kids by 35, no house at 45, and to crown all that with what nobody actually cares about is sense of self.  At 80 or 90 when all is said and done, you look back on your life and is that a tinge of regret I see? A stain on you presumed perfect life? You followed the crowd and they left you on the sidewalk with nothing but your damaged core they took and played around with. You woke up from your slumber 30 years too late.

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     I have friends who tell me they cannot wear certain clothes because they are parents now. They cannot do certain things because they are spouses now. We are the ones who end up setting our own limitations. Your mind is not free and you are trapped in this prison of guilt  when all you are truly afraid of is what someone who does not even care about you will think of you.

How many times in  your 20s or 30s or even 40s did you actually choose to put effort in something you wanted to do? How many times did you put something off because you thought you were too old? Your sex, or marital status is not an obstacle. You are the one using it as an excuse. You are older now and you feel old because you have never renewed your mind and thought process, you have given in to your fears and you know that you had the chance when you were younger but you just did not take it. You have refused embracing change. Society’s dictates had their way.

Glenn Close,an American actress just received a Golden globe and she said this …I’m thinking of my mum, who really sublimated herself to my father her whole life. And in her 80s she said to me,’ I feel I haven’t accomplished anything’. And it was so not right and I feel what I’ve learned through this whole experience is women,we’re nurturers-that’s what is expected of us. We have our children our husbands…but we have to find personal fulfillment.We have to follow our dreams.We have to say ,’ I can do that . And should be allowed to do that.”

In Cameroon we had old people over 90 that were riding bicycles and going to the farm and people will say that their children were probably not taking care of them. *LAUGHS*       When your mind does not constantly renew itself, no matter how educated you get,or how much money you make , the different aspects in life will never be in tune with each other because of the internal conflicts you have everyday with yourself in your little cocoon of pretense and role playing.

My mother whom I love so much is never afraid to be who she is. She wears mini skirts and goes for meetings and after the meeting she becomes the topic for next meeting on dress codes, and guess what! She goes to the next meeting in a shorter annd tighter skirt. It is who she is and what she loves and if you are uncomfortable then that is your problem to deal it. She will not change for you. Why do old people frown? Someone said they are just angry for being old, angry at the young ones perhaps, gravity. It is not true, they are angry at themselves because they did not have the courage to do what you are doing when they were younger and they still do not have the courage to do it now!

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HOW “MATERIALISTIC” ARE YOU?

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For time immemorial, man has been known as always ‘wanting’ and insatiable. The search for something new, different,exciting and attention-grabbing never evades us. The constant desire for power keeps the world feeding us with all its material possessions keeping our minds fascinated with acquisition,because we have equated worldly things to reputation. What you own equals who you are.

 By nature we are materialistic beings, I am materialistic to be honest. I want to own everything, I just feel I need everything(which I don’t), it might make me feel better or worthier, even when I KNOW I CANNOT AFFORD it. The problem I have about materialism is the extent of attachment to the luxuries. Let us define attachment for a moment because it is a whole concept which involves psychological stuff in relationships between people that we cannot delve into in one post. In Buddhism it is referred to as Upādāna which compares it to ‘clinging’ or ‘grasping’. Most definitions of attached include having strong feelings of affection(emotional), and as human as we are we usually let our emotions override our better judgement. Our relationship with stuff starts as early as two, when a child can grasp onto the idea that he or she can possess an object,though their understanding of it does not breed evil as it does in adults.

Feeling angry because Grinch has what you do not have and you will do all in your power to acquire it. Should we honey glaze it as ‘positive competition’? Or is it just downright jealousy or envy? There is a difference between liking a dress on a friend and getting yours and wanting the dress all for youself,nursing feelings of hate and disgust as to why the person owns it and you do not. Beautiful things are good, gold,diamonds,silver,pearls,silk,lace,cars,shoes,art, etc and we eventually turn into HCHs (high class hoarders). Over 70% of the world have things they have not used in over two years and they are still keeping it for ‘a time might pop up’ moment when they will need it. I so believe in minimalism and how they live, by trying to give meaning to every moment of their lives and throwing out objects that do not serve them daily to be able to dedicate more time to actual people.Another thing they preach is gift giving. In order to reduce this surge for giving stuff which occupies space and will not be used,why not gift memories? A vacation, a visit to the less privileged, anything that will not collect dust on a shelf. this is a link to their site and what they preach

It is obvious why everyone wants recognition through property, when in real life someone wearing Alexander McQueen, or using iPhones makes you seem more reliable than someone else. Ladies as well as gentlemen will usually flock towards the flashiest thing, and if that thing is in the hands of a person, that is where they will go. People that own ‘nothing’ are  considered unworthy alliances. Do not judge people for who they are from what they look like. Studies have shown that  as we age our possessions start acting like a crutch for all self issues we might be dealing with. We lean on them because they give us temporary spikes of pleasure and feelings of reward. -you have worked hard enough;you dererve it;spoil yourself;reward yourself;selfcare- all the ways society tries to draw you into the whirlpool of constant consumption. You do not want to be left out because your agemates are presidents and you do not even own a Rav4. “The goal is to be rich, not to look rich”Moosa Rahat.

One last thing i want to talk about that we hold onto unknowingly which I am a victim of are Memories and the things that come with it.  In Cameroon I had friends who had pictures that were faded and molded but they would not throw them away, even when you could only identify the shoes of the people in the picture.  When someone dies, we hold onto almost all their stuff as if it would bring the person back. The earth cannot hold you as long, why do you hold onto material so? Imagine if the earth held onto people the way we hold onto material things, Jeez my great-great-great-great grandfathers great-great-great grandfathers great-great-great grandfather…I am sure you see where we are going with this. Sometimes people use pictures and things to justify what you did with or for another person. The true question is ‘Did you do it with your heart?’ With no desire for self-glorification or return? With pure joy knowing you might have made someone happy,no matter how slight? Let go of those things we cling onto, hoping it will keep the memory alive forever. It is not all memories that need to be translated into objects. As a mother, we have the tendency to want to keep our babys pictures and everything, but you need to let all that go and enjoy your precious moments with your child for most of the most precious are those unrecorded. That goes to for other relationships especially friendships.

Estimate how materialistic you are in all aspects , including emotionally and physically, and see how you acan improve and better your life, and those you serve. Jesus said to follow him we must leave everything behind…if you are too attached to material, this will be a hard one for you. What if disaster hit you like in the areas of fllood,tornadoes  and wars where people lose everything? Will you rise and start over or will you dwell in your past sucking up remnants of a time lost?