HOW TO BE MORE PLACID AND LESS panicky.

HOW TO BE MORE PLACID AND LESS panicky.

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I did not say if you see anything with more than two legs you should not run for your life before thinking about how stupid you will look when someone asks you what it was and you say it was a termite. I will flee from cockroaches day, night and another day, those things(i do not mean to offend those who consume the pest) make me depressed and do not even think of smashing that  squishy body around me. Anyway, back to the topic on less stress and more jest, I have a few tips to calm your nerves whether you are a parent trying to cope with a child, or a worker finding it hard at work (or both), or just a person trying to be less…well just less.

” Reading can seriously damage your ignorance” An anonymous quote. I am hardly ever in panic mode because i read alot. When you read, or research you expose yourself to different things and situations beforehand, and believe it or not you will subconsiously form a reaction to that. When you are actually faced with such an incident it will feel like a dejavue due to the knowledge previously acquired. Isn’t that fun? Just gliding through life like a pro because you had already lived it in another life, although I am quite sure I was a monk in my other life.

Another helpful tip is to breathe. Breathing is not only to keep you alive , but to keep you sane. People with anger management issues are always taught to breathe, women in labour are always told to breathe, athletes need to learn how to control their breath in order not to run out of energy. Learn to breathe. As a new employee, or leader or parent, you need to breathe it out. When directly confronted, take a deep breath before reacting.  Make sure that you are assessing the situation correctly and if not breathe up some patience and do that. When you are on the road and you need to react quickly, you can breathe after you just swirled away from that oncoming truck. But when someone just pissed you off and you need to grab something and break(like a neck), that is when you need to breathe. This will separate your emotions from your reasoning,because you will definately need your brain.

  FEAR is the number one cause of heart attacks. We are always worried, anxious, nervous, afraid, depressed and stressed. This is because we are trying to control things that are beyond our control instead of just adapting. How will you stop the seasons from changing? How will you stop the sun from rising or your best friend from dying? Or trying to stop your child from becoming a painter because you wanted them to become an engineer. You have served your purpose, now let them serve theirs. It is not your master plan, it is Gods master plan. As a leader, do not let the fear of failure make you fall, it should instead make you rise.

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This cannot be repeated…AVOID WORKING UNDER PRESSURE. Many people always wait till the last minute to accomplish daily tasks. As i mentioned in my last post about writing down your goals and always having a vision and mission, because the earlier they are accomplished the calmer and more relaxed you will feel. How to STOP Procrastinating

Lastly, do not panic. You are not the first nor the last person to face or be faced or who will face that incident. Will screaming put out the fire? No, water will. Will putting your hands on your head when you failed your test make you pass it? No, but reading hard, and preparing way ahead of time will. Even when you lose a loved one, no amount of grievieng will bring them back. None. An African proverb says ” while crying, keep walking”

THE WORLD (LIFE) ISN’T A PRARIE WITH ONLY ELVES AND FAIRIES.

THE WORLD IS A DESERT WITH HUMANS WHO HURT AND CAN TREAT YOU LIKE DIRT.  Nahlesu.

 

 

 

 

HOW “MATERIALISTIC” ARE YOU?

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For time immemorial, man has been known as always ‘wanting’ and insatiable. The search for something new, different,exciting and attention-grabbing never evades us. The constant desire for power keeps the world feeding us with all its material possessions keeping our minds fascinated with acquisition,because we have equated worldly things to reputation. What you own equals who you are.

 By nature we are materialistic beings, I am materialistic to be honest. I want to own everything, I just feel I need everything(which I don’t), it might make me feel better or worthier, even when I KNOW I CANNOT AFFORD it. The problem I have about materialism is the extent of attachment to the luxuries. Let us define attachment for a moment because it is a whole concept which involves psychological stuff in relationships between people that we cannot delve into in one post. In Buddhism it is referred to as Upādāna which compares it to ‘clinging’ or ‘grasping’. Most definitions of attached include having strong feelings of affection(emotional), and as human as we are we usually let our emotions override our better judgement. Our relationship with stuff starts as early as two, when a child can grasp onto the idea that he or she can possess an object,though their understanding of it does not breed evil as it does in adults.

Feeling angry because Grinch has what you do not have and you will do all in your power to acquire it. Should we honey glaze it as ‘positive competition’? Or is it just downright jealousy or envy? There is a difference between liking a dress on a friend and getting yours and wanting the dress all for youself,nursing feelings of hate and disgust as to why the person owns it and you do not. Beautiful things are good, gold,diamonds,silver,pearls,silk,lace,cars,shoes,art, etc and we eventually turn into HCHs (high class hoarders). Over 70% of the world have things they have not used in over two years and they are still keeping it for ‘a time might pop up’ moment when they will need it. I so believe in minimalism and how they live, by trying to give meaning to every moment of their lives and throwing out objects that do not serve them daily to be able to dedicate more time to actual people.Another thing they preach is gift giving. In order to reduce this surge for giving stuff which occupies space and will not be used,why not gift memories? A vacation, a visit to the less privileged, anything that will not collect dust on a shelf. this is a link to their site and what they preach

It is obvious why everyone wants recognition through property, when in real life someone wearing Alexander McQueen, or using iPhones makes you seem more reliable than someone else. Ladies as well as gentlemen will usually flock towards the flashiest thing, and if that thing is in the hands of a person, that is where they will go. People that own ‘nothing’ are  considered unworthy alliances. Do not judge people for who they are from what they look like. Studies have shown that  as we age our possessions start acting like a crutch for all self issues we might be dealing with. We lean on them because they give us temporary spikes of pleasure and feelings of reward. -you have worked hard enough;you dererve it;spoil yourself;reward yourself;selfcare- all the ways society tries to draw you into the whirlpool of constant consumption. You do not want to be left out because your agemates are presidents and you do not even own a Rav4. “The goal is to be rich, not to look rich”Moosa Rahat.

One last thing i want to talk about that we hold onto unknowingly which I am a victim of are Memories and the things that come with it.  In Cameroon I had friends who had pictures that were faded and molded but they would not throw them away, even when you could only identify the shoes of the people in the picture.  When someone dies, we hold onto almost all their stuff as if it would bring the person back. The earth cannot hold you as long, why do you hold onto material so? Imagine if the earth held onto people the way we hold onto material things, Jeez my great-great-great-great grandfathers great-great-great grandfathers great-great-great grandfather…I am sure you see where we are going with this. Sometimes people use pictures and things to justify what you did with or for another person. The true question is ‘Did you do it with your heart?’ With no desire for self-glorification or return? With pure joy knowing you might have made someone happy,no matter how slight? Let go of those things we cling onto, hoping it will keep the memory alive forever. It is not all memories that need to be translated into objects. As a mother, we have the tendency to want to keep our babys pictures and everything, but you need to let all that go and enjoy your precious moments with your child for most of the most precious are those unrecorded. That goes to for other relationships especially friendships.

Estimate how materialistic you are in all aspects , including emotionally and physically, and see how you acan improve and better your life, and those you serve. Jesus said to follow him we must leave everything behind…if you are too attached to material, this will be a hard one for you. What if disaster hit you like in the areas of fllood,tornadoes  and wars where people lose everything? Will you rise and start over or will you dwell in your past sucking up remnants of a time lost?