The sun will shine as bright as can be, weather you like heat or not. (Pun intended)
The moon will only shine brightly at night , whether you like it or not.
The day will be 24 hours, no more, no less, whether you like it or not.
It is very important to always live in the present because whether you like it or not it will become the past what was once regarded as future. The present is now, being in a consious awareness of oneself, surroundings and situation.
All in all, whether you like it or not, what has to happen will happen. The question is will you be making it happen, or will you be letting it happen to you?
I woke up that morning with nothing on my mind. Night shift is starting in a few hours and I need to get some sleep.
I had watched Black Panther, Avengers End game and a couple other movies that week just to see Chadwick Boseman.
If for a second I had known that he may have been taking his last breath, could it have been different?
I get to work and start my night. I decide to take a break a few hours later, the n95 mask was suffocating me. I sit down at the table in the staff break room, after rummaging the fridge for sandwiches. A post on whatsapp gets me…’the Black Panther is no more’ crying emoji.
Obviously I think its a joke. Every year people always trying to get clout with one actors death or another. I did not want to check Twitter because I was low-key afraid it might be true. Its not something that just pops out of the blue. I mean why would anyone want to make up a story that Chadwick Boseman passed?
Let us be Honest, going with the flow everyday is so easy and undemanding. A routine on the other hand feels like going against the grain,because of the amount of effort you have to put in to get the results that you want.
What is a HABIT? According to the Merriam Webster online dictionary it is defined as “an acquired mode of behaviour that has become nearly or completely involuntary”.Other definitions include “a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance”
If you note the word ‘acquired’ which means “gained by or as a result of effort or experience”, meaning habits are not hereditary. So my lack of commitment is not hereditary, my procrastination is not in borne, my laziness was not thrust upon me (Shakespeare talks about greatness).
Therefore, every habit is a conscious decision to be and do better. To develop means “to create or produce especially by deliberate effort over time” You cannot have the future you want unless you create it for yourself by developing habits that work towards attaining your goal.
1 You have to know what it is you want. Who you want to be. Define your result, so you develop your resistance.
2 You will need to put in effort. You cannot break a bad habit without the willingness and desire to be free from it. Everyday, choose to be the person you want to be.
3 It will take some time. Your mind and body need to be in sync and this happens when you know who you are, you have put in the effort and you are ready to be that person. You have been harboring this bad habit for a while, your body and mind will fight change, but with your developed resistance you will reap the results.
4 You will need to be constantly motivated and inspired. Try to create that kind of space for yourself,mentally and physically. Like watching movies or listening to audiobooks that move you to action. Surround yourself with the right people.
Hi everyone! My last post on ‘things that make no sense to me’ obviously received mixed responses. Well, since beliefs and foundations differ, you cannot make everyone see your point especially, when they do not want to give up their ways of thinking. Thank you to those who contributed to the content today.
Thinking marriage is an accomplishment. A reward for good character. Do not automatically assume yourself better than others because you are married.
Men who think that because they are married they are more responsible. Haha, society paints it so. Patriarchy is still deeply embedded in the society. It’s not ‘man’ up to get married, you are just ‘adulting’, it’s what you do when you get older, nothing special.
Why do you think your sin is better than another person’s sin? Sin is sin. If it’s considered wrong, it’s wrong. In court a wrongdoing is judged on a predetermined basis. But in God’s court rain falls on the good and evil alike. Don’t think you won’t get any rain because you haven’t “sinned”.
When you think that you are perfect because you’ve had just one sexual partner your whole life. How does that define perfection?
Lastly, is the fact that some people are still going from church to church looking for a miracle. They refuse to put in any effort in the way they want to change their lives. But they never fail to judge others,who unlike them had the courage to take a risk.
“THE SHALLOW END IS WHERE YOU DON’T DROWN, BUT THE DEEP END IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN SWIM” Ebony Obsidian
Lets face it, there are times and days when you just want to lazy about doing nothing. That is what most people call boredom. They will tell you they have watched all the movies and series available and they so not know what else to do with their time. Really? Like really? As an advocate of the simple life , we should stop complicating every little thing just because we are not willing to try it, for reasons such as fear or pride or just outright unwillingness to unlearn anything. You choose not to take interest in other activities because you feel you do not directly benefit from them. .How to STOP Procrastinating , read till the end so you will not need to worry about your free time!
READING. yes. Anything. Literally. You must always learn something new from any book, be it fiction,inspirational, nonfiction,historical,romance, autobiographies or even a children’s book. You can visit the library and read there if your house is too noisy and besides you will have a wide collection to choose from. Reading takes you to so many different places, broadens your imagination and thoughts and improves your vocabulary. Plus it usually puts me to sleep at night especially when i am having a hard time falling asleep. Read more by clicking on this link why reading is important
WRITING. Obviously. You don’t have the skill for just copying and pasting notes in class or during exams do you? Write down what your day was like, the highs and lows. A few things you would change if you could. A bucket list. Anything. tips on writing a diary.
TRY OUT A NEW RECIPE. My Uncle can go from Cameroon to Chinese real fast! Save some money, and try the dish out at home by following the recipe and why not customizing it to suit your taste perfectly. My Dad cooked for us so much that my first meal of hot pot potatoes he threw into the farm. It was that bad he could not even give it to the dogs. smh. But I have come far, and I don’t mind my first try being tasteless, I will learn and improve. I have tried Lasagna and oven roasted a full turkey. Well , my mum helped. Try with a small amount first , then as you get better you can increase the quantity. recipes afrocaribbeanrecipes
GET BETTER AT ONE OF YOUR HOBBIES. Not watching television. Hobbies like swimming, cycling, painting, drawing, dancing. Try getting better at it, you love it does not mean you are good at it. Learn in details the structure of your passions and strive to excel in it. So many people out here saying they love doing this or that , and you ask them how many times they have actually done it, or any proof that they actually invest any time or money in said venture and the result is always zero. Do not be one of them.
PLAY WORD GAMES OR PUZZLES. There are all sorts of mathematical and english game apps now. You can buy yourself crossword puzzles and you will amazed how ignorant you are!Video games are definitely addicting! game apps to try.
CALL A FRIEND, VISIT A RELATIVE OR WINDOW SHOP, Lol yeah it’s not that serious. Make sure when window shopping you do not have any money, or you might be tempted to spend on what you do not actually need. Works of mercy too are important, visiting the orphanage or just being nice to an older person. Call your friend up, go hang out with them and de-stress. Go babysit a friends baby and give the parents a break, kids are such a blessing but can also be backbreaking. Get out of the house by all means, look at the sky, touch the grass, walk barefoot. You will dead longer.
WATCH A DOCUMENTARY. One of those days you feel like listening to an audiobook download audiobooks instead of reading, or watching shaka zulu and learning about animals you never knew existed! That is so much fun. Knowing how your country emerged to what it is today. Cameroon on the other hand will need to have its history rewritten.
TRY LEARNING A NEW LANGUAGE. English,French,Spanish, Chinese. Well i am definitely not learning chinese but do not let me discourage you, “nǐ hǎo” is probably all my brain can take. While learning a new language you learn the cultures of the people and it will astound you the similarities we all share. Did you know in Spain most households buy fresh bread every day. Traditionally, they are long baguettes called barras or pistolas. Bread is present (and required) at almost every meal. Just like in Cameroon, some people have taken bread and tea to a whole new level.
EXERCISE. Why do people hate exercise? The voluntary action of moving your limbs is so dismal. After childhood the thought of playing is farfetched, how will we when we have all become so heavy and view everything manual as a chore. Exercise is a form of de-stressing, a form of fun, health improvement, and your body looks better. So why not do it? By the time many of us get to 40, we experience pain on all our joints because of lack of exercise. Just like you exercise your body, exercise your brain, read, write, solve math. You can start with at home stretches and workout like this workout.
SEX. Talking about exercise, sex is a good sport. Please forget the quickies and after 5 minutes its over types. I am talking about the process of sex, from the excitement stages all through resolution. From most stories, females usually end at the plateau stage, never quite fully attaining orgasm, which is why masturbation is good. Betty Dodson still has much to say on this in her BLOG and I cannot help but agree with her that we do not even know our own bodies, therefore we do not know how to touch it. No one can give you an orgasm. This is diversion , i am here preaching instead of staying focused on the matter at hand. During your free time, have sex, good sex, so you can rest as it does improve your sleep, if it was good.
READ THE BIBLE, PRAY, AND, OR MEDITATE. Improving your spiritual life means lifting burdens and being aware of the greater powers at work in your life and in the world. It means remaining positive that everyday will be better because you know God sits on the throne. Meditation is another form of intense prayer, but it involves clearing your mind of everything, and just being in the now. Cancelling out all the noise, which is so difficult in this day and age of technology where something is always on. But how to meditate is all a matter of practice. Praying, meditation, bible study, are all a means of connecting to our higher self and thus the Almighty.
ORGANISE YOUR PHONE. Seems easy, but girlfriend has more than a 100,000 photos in her phone and over 10,000 videos and she has not watched or viewed up to a quarter of them, and it is unlikely she will because they will keep adding. Take your time, go through your file manager and delete all those whatsapp pictures and videos. Go through your camera and delete pictures that you took that are not as nice as others and back the rest up in the cloud. Your phone is crowded that is why it is malfunctioning. Your brain is crowded that is why it is malfunctioning. Clean it! You do not actually need the pictures as much as you think you do. Clear you chats , your messages, your phone call log, your voicemail. Go to Facebook and instagram and twitter and all that and delete old posts, especially those that do not support your current viewpoint. Delete useless apps and while you are looking at contacts you have not contacted in a long time be sure to try doing just that. Contacting them. Your yahoo or Gmail accounts are probably overflowing, clear those out too. What the heck, just reset the damn phone!
REDECORATE. After organising your phone, your home needs some renovation too. These apps can help you sell old stuff online while you redecorate. Your house is your little sanctuary, always strive to make it as comfortable as possible. Put up new decor, or if you cannot afford it, rearrange existing decor. Just create a PINTEREST account and you can look up hundreds of designs, DIY and much more! Throw out old stuff, there is no need piling up all those things you hold on to , probably because of sentiments. Read my previous blog post on HOW “MATERIALISTIC” ARE YOU?
PLAN SOMETHING. Why are you afraid of taking risks? Why do you feel you will not be able to accomplish something just at the mere thought of it? Why do you cancel your dreams out so fast before they can think of realising themselves? Plan something big this time. A trip…start saving towards it, start focusing all your energy on how much fun you will have. A surprise party for your mother or your friend, imagine how happy they will be! A new field of study, or specialising further in your area of expertise. Visiting the zoo perhaps? Write a bucket list,try visualizing and writing down how you plan to accomplish each task and face it fearlessly. Will Smith is now doing everything he had on his bucket list,( crazy, scary things though) just so you know life is short and time is not your friend.
SPLURGE ON YOURSELF. Is it a waste of money to have a spa day? Is it a waste of time to just soak all day and listen to music? Body, mind and soul needs rejuvenation , and how else do you relax and unwind if you do not devote time and space to yourself? If you have a full house, wake up before everyone, make a cup of tea and just enjoy the sunrise. Get a pedicure or an acupuncture. Do some facials.Go on a date…with yourself. Go somewhere fancy, dress up and eat some crazy stuff. Go to that hotel and spend a soothing weekend. Your memories will always thank you for that. As generous as you are to others be as generous to yourself.
TRY SOMETHING NEW. Fear will definitely get the better of us if we do not learn how to overcome it. You cannot be lukewarm , you are either hot or cold, in or out…no sitting on the fence. Wear that dress that is way out of your comfort zone, Try on different lipsticks or nail varnish.Fear of heights? Take a flight, or do indoor skydiving. Every chance you get to try something new, do not miss it or you will always end up telling people the story of “I ALMOST”. I swear I could have told you the story of almost but seeing that it was almost finished but unfinished, i rest my case.
This is not a class to get you to mogul level, this is a tutorial on how to ace your poverty score. I want to teach you how to properly mismanage your money using just about three or four tips, because we are all tired of these financial analysts telling us how to spend every hard-earned coin. That is exactly why I am here, big spender to use the money sitting in your account wasting.
You must have heard it before that to make more money you need to spend more money. I do not know exactly how that works because if I buy a new car, how do I get more money off the car after using it? Even if I have to sell it off , I wouldn’t be able to sell it for over the price I bought it, that is because it does not appreciate over time. That is why my first advise to you will be that you neither save nor invest your money. After all, you won’t live forever and other people will enjoy your hard-earned labour after your death. Spend everything you earn and live free,money cannot buy happiness. Why should you give up your short-term luxuries for financial freedom in the future(when you do not even know whether you will BE in the future? The future is here and now.
What the heck, enjoy it all. Live above your means. Make sure you buy everything you cannot afford, so you can always be broke and keep on living paycheck to paycheck. Or should i say food stamp to food stamp? Rely on the government, family, friends or charity to care for you your whole life and do not try to make your life better. ‘money is the root of all evil’. Anyone who is working hard and not making excuses becomes your enemy, and condemn anyone who DARES to call you lazy.
If you can borrow something, why not? Borrow all the money you can to satisfy your wants, and purchase only the most expensive goods in the market so everyone knows that you are a poor high-class person. Even when lending sums of money to people , do not set a deadline, do not have a collateral and do not make it binding by law. Being a foolish lender is being there for one’s neighbour just as the bible instructed. Besides,people will call you wicked and selfish if you refuse to lend even when you do not have. It’s okay to stay poor if your conscience is clear and clean.
Budgeting? Why should you make a budget? Do not calculate your expenses because it does not matter what goes in and out every month because money is meant to be spent?
Financial planning takes so much time and effort but what use is when natural disasters happen and destabilize you? You will jump right back on your feet. That is what will happen. Things always happen, the solution is you being able to brace any storm without being drowned.
As an african parent would tell you ” spend all the money you have hein, when your friends will be driving in range rovers and you’ll be in keke, you will know’
Wisdom is when you figure out that the tips i have typed down will cause you a financial disaster, and you choose to flip the script to financial freedom.
” MONEY IS OLD AND WISE, MAN IS OLDER AND SHOULD THEREFORE BE WISER” Nahlesu
I did not say if you see anything with more than two legs you should not run for your life before thinking about how stupid you will look when someone asks you what it was and you say it was a termite. I will flee from cockroaches day, night and another day, those things(i do not mean to offend those who consume the pest) make me depressed and do not even think of smashing that squishy body around me. Anyway, back to the topic on less stress and more jest, I have a few tips to calm your nerves whether you are a parent trying to cope with a child, or a worker finding it hard at work (or both), or just a person trying to be less…well just less.
” Reading can seriously damage your ignorance” An anonymous quote. I am hardly ever in panic mode because i read alot. When you read, or research you expose yourself to different things and situations beforehand, and believe it or not you will subconsiously form a reaction to that. When you are actually faced with such an incident it will feel like a dejavue due to the knowledge previously acquired. Isn’t that fun? Just gliding through life like a pro because you had already lived it in another life, although I am quite sure I was a monk in my other life.
Another helpful tip is to breathe. Breathing is not only to keep you alive , but to keep you sane. People with anger management issues are always taught to breathe, women in labour are always told to breathe, athletes need to learn how to control their breath in order not to run out of energy. Learn to breathe. As a new employee, or leader or parent, you need to breathe it out. When directly confronted, take a deep breath before reacting. Make sure that you are assessing the situation correctly and if not breathe up some patience and do that. When you are on the road and you need to react quickly, you can breathe after you just swirled away from that oncoming truck. But when someone just pissed you off and you need to grab something and break(like a neck), that is when you need to breathe. This will separate your emotions from your reasoning,because you will definately need your brain.
FEAR is the number one cause of heart attacks. We are always worried, anxious, nervous, afraid, depressed and stressed. This is because we are trying to control things that are beyond our control instead of just adapting. How will you stop the seasons from changing? How will you stop the sun from rising or your best friend from dying? Or trying to stop your child from becoming a painter because you wanted them to become an engineer. You have served your purpose, now let them serve theirs. It is not your master plan, it is Gods master plan. As a leader, do not let the fear of failure make you fall, it should instead make you rise.
This cannot be repeated…AVOID WORKING UNDER PRESSURE. Many people always wait till the last minute to accomplish daily tasks. As i mentioned in my last post about writing down your goals and always having a vision and mission, because the earlier they are accomplished the calmer and more relaxed you will feel. How to STOP Procrastinating
Lastly, do not panic. You are not the first nor the last person to face or be faced or who will face that incident. Will screaming put out the fire? No, water will. Will putting your hands on your head when you failed your test make you pass it? No, but reading hard, and preparing way ahead of time will. Even when you lose a loved one, no amount of grievieng will bring them back. None. An African proverb says ” while crying, keep walking”
THE WORLD (LIFE) ISN’T A PRARIE WITH ONLY ELVES AND FAIRIES.
THE WORLD IS A DESERT WITH HUMANS WHO HURT AND CAN TREAT YOU LIKE DIRT. Nahlesu.