All other ground is sinking sand.

As I drove through the traffic this morning, the virtual realisation that my life is in the hands of the Creator hit me once more. I could’ve died walking out the door.

On Christ the solid rock I stand…

As I walked out of the hospital in good health, I realized how lucky I am to be be in good form. I could’ve been torn.

On Christ the solid rock I stand…

As I write this piece in gratitude for my senses, I come to the conclusion that I have no control whatsoever on anything.

On Christ the solid rock I stand…

All other ground is sinking sand.

What just happened?

The gorgeous Lupita Nyongo’o

This hashtag was trending on Twitter two days ago for reasons beyond my wildest imagination. The 94th Academy Awards ceremony was definitely an ‘action-filled’ one all thanks to Chris Rock and Will Smith.

Within the last 48 hours, jokes, memes and even songs have been circulating on social media following the disaster at the show. Many celebrities have given their opinions on this and social media is still in a wave. This will not go away soon.

I am as disappointed as the rest of the world at Will Smith for exuding such classlessness in the public eye knowing well the repercussions on the people who look up to him. A lot could’ve been done differently, it’s shameful he resorted to violence.

Chris Rock was doing his job. Was it insensitive? Probably, assuming he had no idea Jada had alopecia. I didn’t know, I’m not sure how public that knowledge was. People referenced the last Oscar’s in which he called them out; so it’s two counts of felony for him and he deserved to be assaulted. NO!

Black women feel they have been disrespected for centuries and it was about time someone stood up for them. I can’t laugh any harder at this analogy as it sounds terribly unintelligent. Now we compare this situation to that of the newly nominated judge of the Supreme Court Kentanji Brown Jackson and the differences are glaringly evident. Jada could have stopped Will going up that stage, whether she knew what he was going to do or not. Women keep fighting for their lives everyday in every country, in every sphere of life and if we had resorted to violence the results would speak for themselves.

It’s also sad that assault like that wasn’t immediately addressed. Leaving everybody wondering “WHAT JUST HAPPENED?”

Stress (s)’pending?

Today is one of those days… I opened my bank account, and I did not have up to $100. It was $89.74 to be exact. I need a new car, I need a house, I need to eat and yet I want to travel and chill somewhere in the world. How I’m supposed to afford all those ‘luxuries’ with just $89.74? That is not exactly my problem.

So since I can’t afford any of that, I can at least take care of my skin. I used up the little gas (let us not get into the outrageous fuel prices these days)in my car and drove to Ulta Beauty. A few hours later I have $9.74 left.

A virtual description of my financial statement

The Ordinary is actually one of the cheapest skin care products I know. So I consoled myself with the fact that I could have bought one bottle of some other brand name for the same price. Yay! A bargain. Now don’t ask me why I need so much for my face, I consider it a balanced diet.

I spend alot of money when I am stressed, or overwhelmed or happy. I’m sure happiness can count as an emotional shift and a good reason to be generous. It is a bad habit and I am learning to curb stress related spending by choosing to redirect my energy towards something else.

A few things you can do include exercising, calling a friend(and venting if need be), reading a book, watching tv or just go to sleep(chances are you need it!)I do think people ignore the power of the page, reading takes you to the unknown and you could be so engrossed in a book you totally forget why you were stressed in the first place!

Did I mention that I am still in love with hard cover books despite the rise of e-books? Those pages between my fingers and the feeling of being a part of the story just have a way of calming me every time. I also stress spend on books, by the way. Can it be said that it’s the disease and the cure at the same time? Yikes.

Nonetheless, being financially responsible is very important. Some days, it’s frugal; other days, it’s called “squandering.” Try not to let the latter overcome the former .and don’t make rash financial decisions based on your present emotional state.

Renew your Energy.

Photo by Adonyi Gábor from Pexels

In physics, energy is the quantitative property that must be transferred  to an object in order to perform work on, or to heat, the object. Energy

Energy is a conserved quantity; the law of conservation of energy states that energy can be converted in form, but not created or destroyed.

New schools of thought have drifted from the “measurable” forms of energy to “immeasuarble” forms which include spiritual energy, thoughts (positive and negative). Although in this post I may not be able to differentiate the physical from the spiritual, but will show you how to renew whatever fuels you.

Photo by Binti Malu from Pexels

Lessen the noise. All the noise. There is always something buzzing around us, a notification from your phone, the computer, the stove, the tv. (Your friends and family are not excluded)😊. Take a day off everything and everyone. Even if you have kids, do not give them any phones or turn the tv on. Let it just be a quiet day to regenerate.

Prayer. Prayer is a stress reliever. It is channeling all your thoughts to the Infinite in trust that your path will be guided and directed at all times. Being grateful and praising the Almighty for every day that comes and goes. Meditation, affirmations and manifestations are all forms of re-tuning inward to our higher self.

Intentionality. It’s so easy not to put any effort into living. Letting today pass, waiting for tomorrow and it becomes yet another day. Intention involves determination; it involves drive and purpose. It is a choice. It is choosing to be present in your day; it is choosing to stand firm in your values in spite of what the day brings.

Observe and process.

Let go. Who has not heard this before? If you haven’t said this to yourself in the last 24 hours, then you must be on Uranus(pun intended). I truly believe that we know what to do but choose not to do it. Living intentionally, as mentioned, requires you to choose. Choosing what you let in and out of your life. I can write a whole book on letting go, but if you do not choose to do it, then it’s futile.

Always remember that you are wonderfully made and unique. You alone fill the space you are in now,make an effort to leave an afterglow.

Whether you like it or NOT!

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The sun will shine as bright as can be, weather you like heat or not. (Pun intended)

The moon will only shine brightly at night , whether you like it or not.

The day will be 24 hours, no more, no less, whether you like it or not.

It is very important to always live in the present because whether you like it or not it will become the past what was once regarded as future. The present is now, being in a consious awareness of oneself, surroundings and situation.

All in all, whether you like it or not, what has to happen will happen. The question is will you be making it happen, or will you be letting it happen to you?

August 28th 2020

August 28th 2020

I woke up that morning with nothing on my mind. Night shift is starting in a few hours and I need to get some sleep.

I had watched Black Panther, Avengers End game and a couple other movies that week just to see Chadwick Boseman.

If for a second I had known that he may have been taking his last breath, could it have been different?

I get to work and start my night. I decide to take a break a few hours later, the n95 mask was suffocating me. I sit down at the table in the staff break room, after rummaging the fridge for sandwiches. A post on whatsapp gets me…’the Black Panther is no more’ crying emoji.

Obviously I think its a joke. Every year people always trying to get clout with one actors death or another. I did not want to check Twitter because I was low-key afraid it might be true. Its not something that just pops out of the blue. I mean why would anyone want to make up a story that Chadwick Boseman passed?

I decided to open the bird app.

This is all I can say for now.

How to develop better habits.

How to develop better habits.

Let us be Honest, going with the flow everyday is so easy and undemanding. A routine on the other hand feels like going against the grain,because of the amount of effort you have to put in to get the results that you want.

What is a HABIT? According to the Merriam Webster online dictionary it is defined as “an acquired mode of behaviour that has become nearly or completely involuntary”.Other definitions include “a behavior pattern acquired by  frequent repetition or  physiologic exposure that shows  itself in regularity or increased  facility of performance”

If you note the word ‘acquired’ which means “gained by or as a result of effort or experience”, meaning habits are not hereditary. So my lack of commitment is not hereditary, my procrastination is not in borne, my laziness was not thrust upon me (Shakespeare talks about greatness).

Therefore, every habit is a conscious decision to be and do better. To develop means “to create or produce especially by deliberate effort over time” You cannot have the future you want unless you create it for yourself by developing habits that work towards attaining your goal.

1 You have to know what it is you want. Who you want to be. Define your result, so you develop your resistance.

2 You will need to put in effort. You cannot break a bad habit without the willingness and desire to be free from it. Everyday, choose to be the person you want to be.

3 It will take some time. Your mind and body need to be in sync and this happens when you know who you are, you have put in the effort and you are ready to be that person. You have been harboring this bad habit for a while, your body and mind will fight change, but with your developed resistance you will reap the results.

4 You will need to be constantly motivated and inspired. Try to create that kind of space for yourself,mentally and physically. Like watching movies or listening to audiobooks that move you to action. Surround yourself with the right people.

“Dєfเภเภg ⑂๏ยг Rєรยltร ฬเll Dєṽєl๏ק ⑂๏ยг Rєรเรtคภϲє” NAHLESU

5 Things that make no sense to me.

Hi everyone! My last post on ‘things that make no sense to me’ obviously received mixed responses. Well, since beliefs and foundations differ, you cannot make everyone see your point especially, when they do not want to give up their ways of thinking. Thank you to those who contributed to the content today.

Thinking marriage is an accomplishment. A reward for good character. Do not automatically assume yourself better than others because you are married.

Men who think that because they are married they are more responsible. Haha, society paints it so. Patriarchy is still deeply embedded in the society. It’s not ‘man’ up to get married, you are just ‘adulting’, it’s what you do when you get older, nothing special.

Why do you think your sin is better than another person’s sin? Sin is sin. If it’s considered wrong, it’s wrong. In court a wrongdoing is judged on a predetermined basis. But in God’s court rain falls on the good and evil alike. Don’t think you won’t get any rain because you haven’t “sinned”.

When you think that you are perfect because you’ve had just one sexual partner your whole life. How does that define perfection?

Lastly, is the fact that some people are still going from church to church looking for a miracle. They refuse to put in any effort in the way they want to change their lives. But they never fail to judge others,who unlike them had the courage to take a risk.

“THE SHALLOW END IS WHERE YOU DON’T DROWN, BUT THE DEEP END IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN SWIMEbony Obsidian

16 THINGS TO DO IN YOUR FREE TIME. (or technically, when you feel bored)

16 THINGS TO DO IN YOUR FREE TIME. (or technically, when you feel bored)

 

red and blue hot air balloon floating on air on body of water during night time
Photo by Bess Hamiti on Pexels.com

Lets face it, there are times and days when you just want to lazy about doing nothing. That is what most people call boredom. They will tell you they have watched all the movies and series available and they so not know what else to do with their time. Really? Like really? As an advocate of the simple life , we should stop complicating every little thing just because we are not willing to try it, for reasons such as fear or pride or just outright unwillingness to unlearn anything. You choose not to take interest in other activities because you feel you do not directly benefit from them.  .How to STOP Procrastinating , read till the end so you will not need to worry about your free time!

  1. READING. yes. Anything. Literally. You must always learn something new from any book, be it fiction,inspirational, nonfiction,historical,romance, autobiographies or even a children’s book. You can visit the library and read there if your house is too noisy and besides you will have a wide collection to choose from. Reading takes you to so many different places, broadens your imagination and thoughts and improves your vocabulary. Plus it usually puts me to sleep at night especially when i am having a hard time falling asleep. Read more by clicking on this link why reading is important
  2. WRITING. Obviously. You don’t have the skill for just copying and pasting notes in class or during exams do you? Write down what your day was like, the highs and lows. A few things you would change if you could. A bucket list. Anything. tips on writing a diary.
  3. person flattening dough with rolling pin
    Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

    TRY OUT A NEW RECIPE.  My Uncle can go from Cameroon to Chinese real fast! Save some money, and try the dish out at home by following the recipe and why not customizing it to suit your taste perfectly.  My Dad cooked for us so much that my first meal of hot pot potatoes he threw into the farm. It was that bad he could not even give it to the dogs. smh. But I have come far, and I don’t mind my first try being tasteless, I will learn and improve. I have tried Lasagna and oven roasted a full turkey. Well , my mum helped. Try with a small amount first , then as you get better you can increase the quantity. recipes  afrocaribbeanrecipes

  4. GET BETTER AT ONE OF YOUR HOBBIES. Not watching television. Hobbies like swimming, cycling, painting, drawing, dancing. Try getting better at it, you love it does not mean you are good at it. Learn in details the structure of your passions and strive to excel in it.  So many people out here saying they love doing this or that , and you ask them how many times they have actually done it, or any proof that they actually invest any time or money in said venture and the result is always zero. Do not be one of them.
  5. PLAY WORD GAMES OR PUZZLES. There are all sorts of mathematical and english game apps now. You can buy yourself crossword puzzles and you will amazed how ignorant you are!Video games are definitely addicting! game apps to try.
  6. hands people friends communication
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    CALL A FRIEND, VISIT A RELATIVE OR WINDOW SHOP, Lol yeah it’s not that serious. Make sure when window shopping you do not have any money, or you might be tempted to spend on what you do not actually need. Works of mercy too are important, visiting the orphanage or just being nice to an older person. Call your friend up, go hang out with them and de-stress. Go babysit a friends baby and give the parents a break, kids are such a blessing but can also be backbreaking. Get out of the house by all means, look at the sky, touch the grass, walk barefoot. You will dead longer.

  7. WATCH A DOCUMENTARY. One of those days you feel like listening to an audiobook download audiobooks instead of reading, or watching shaka zulu and learning about animals you never knew existed! That is so much fun. Knowing how your country emerged to what it is today. Cameroon on the other hand will need to have its history rewritten.
  8. TRY LEARNING A NEW LANGUAGE. English,French,Spanish, Chinese. Well i am definitely not learning chinese but do not let me discourage you, “nǐ hǎo” is probably all my brain can take. While learning a new language you learn the cultures of the people and it will astound you the similarities we all share. Did you know in Spain most households buy fresh bread every day. Traditionally, they are long baguettes called barras or pistolas. Bread is present (and required) at almost every meal. Just like in Cameroon, some people have taken bread and tea to a whole new level.
  9. EXERCISE. Why do people hate exercise? The voluntary action of moving your limbs is so dismal. After childhood the thought of playing is farfetched, how will we when we have all become so heavy and view everything manual as a chore. Exercise is a form of de-stressing, a form of fun, health improvement, and your body looks better. So why not do it? By the time many of us get to 40, we experience pain on all our joints because of lack of exercise. Just like you exercise your body, exercise your brain, read, write, solve math. You can start with at home stretches and workout like this workout.
  10. SEX. Talking about exercise, sex is a good sport. Please forget the quickies and after 5 minutes its over types. I am talking about the process of sex, from the excitement stages all through resolution. From most stories, females usually end at the plateau stage, never quite fully attaining orgasm, which is why masturbation is good. Betty Dodson still has much to say on this in her BLOG and I cannot help but agree with her that we do not even know our own bodies, therefore we do not know how to touch it. No one can give you an orgasm. This is diversion , i am here preaching instead of staying focused on the matter at hand. During your free time, have sex, good sex, so you can rest as it does improve your sleep, if it was good.

    grayscale photography of man sitting on grass field
    Photo by Flickr on Pexels.com
  11. READ THE BIBLE, PRAY, AND, OR MEDITATE. Improving your spiritual life means lifting burdens and being aware of the greater powers at work in your life and in the world. It means remaining positive that everyday will be better because you know God sits on the throne. Meditation is another form of intense prayer, but it involves clearing your mind of everything, and just being in the now. Cancelling out all the noise, which is so difficult in this day and age of technology where something is always on. But how to meditate is all a matter of practice. Praying, meditation, bible study, are all a means of connecting to our higher self and thus the Almighty.
  12. ORGANISE YOUR PHONE. Seems easy,  but girlfriend has more than a 100,000 photos in her phone and over 10,000 videos and she has not watched or viewed up to a quarter of them, and it is unlikely she will because they will keep adding. Take your time, go through your file manager and delete all those whatsapp pictures and videos. Go through your camera and delete pictures that you took that are not as nice as others and back the rest up in the cloud. Your phone is crowded that is why it is malfunctioning. Your brain is crowded that is why it is malfunctioning. Clean it! You do not actually need the pictures as much as you think you do. Clear you chats , your messages, your phone call log, your voicemail. Go to Facebook and instagram and twitter and all that and delete old posts, especially those that do not support your current viewpoint. Delete useless apps and while you are looking at contacts you have not contacted in a long time be sure to try doing just that. Contacting them. Your yahoo or Gmail accounts are probably overflowing, clear those out too. What the heck, just reset the damn phone!
  13. REDECORATE. After organising your phone, your home needs some renovation too. These apps can help you sell old stuff online while you redecorate. Your house is your little sanctuary, always strive to make it as comfortable as possible. Put up new decor, or if you cannot afford it, rearrange existing decor. Just create a PINTEREST account and you can look up hundreds of designs, DIY and much more! Throw out old stuff, there is no need piling up all those things you hold on to , probably because of sentiments. Read my previous blog post on HOW “MATERIALISTIC” ARE YOU?
  14. PLAN SOMETHING. Why are you afraid of taking risks? Why do you feel you will not be able to accomplish something just at the mere thought of it? Why do you cancel your dreams out so fast before they can think of realising themselves? Plan something big this time. A trip…start saving towards it, start focusing all your energy on how much fun you will have. A surprise party for your mother or your friend, imagine how happy they will be! A new field of study, or specialising further in your area of expertise. Visiting the zoo perhaps? Write a bucket list,try visualizing and writing down how you plan to accomplish each task and face it fearlessly. Will Smith is now doing everything he had on his bucket list,( crazy, scary things though) just so you know life is short and time is not your friend.
  15. aromatherapy bamboo basket candlelight
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    SPLURGE ON YOURSELF. Is it a waste of money to have a spa day? Is it a waste of time to just soak all day and listen to music? Body, mind and soul needs rejuvenation , and how else do you relax and unwind if you do not devote time and space to yourself? If you have a full house, wake up before everyone, make a cup of tea and just enjoy the sunrise. Get a pedicure or an acupuncture. Do some facials.Go on a date…with yourself. Go somewhere fancy, dress up and eat some crazy stuff. Go to that hotel and spend a soothing weekend. Your memories will always thank you for that. As generous as you are to others be as generous to yourself.

  16. TRY SOMETHING NEW.   Fear will definitely get the better of us if we do not learn how to overcome it. You cannot be lukewarm , you are either hot or cold, in or out…no sitting on the fence. Wear that dress that is way out of your comfort zone, Try on different lipsticks or nail varnish.Fear of heights? Take a flight, or do indoor skydiving. Every chance you get to try something new, do not miss it or you will always end up telling people the story of   “I ALMOST”. I swear I could have told you the story of almost but seeing that it was almost finished but unfinished, i rest my case.

MONEY MISMANAGEMENT 101.

THE UPSIDE DOWN RULE.

ace black and white business cards

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This is not a class to get you to mogul level, this is a tutorial on how to ace your poverty score. I want to teach you how to properly mismanage your money using just about three or four tips, because we are all tired of these financial analysts telling us how to spend every hard-earned coin. That is exactly why I am here, big spender to use the money sitting in your account wasting.

You must have heard it before that to make more money you need to spend more money. I do not know exactly how that works because if I buy a new car, how do I get more money off the car after using it? Even if I have to sell it off , I wouldn’t be able to sell it for over the price I bought it, that is because it does not appreciate over time. That is why my first advise to you will  be  that you neither save nor invest your money. After all, you won’t live forever and other people will enjoy your hard-earned labour after your death. Spend everything you earn and live free,money cannot buy happiness. Why should you give up your short-term luxuries for financial freedom in the future(when you do not even know whether you will  BE in the future? The future is here and now.

woman wearing maroon velvet plunge neck long sleeved dress while carrying several paper bags photography
Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

 

What the heck, enjoy it all.  Live above your means. Make sure you buy everything you cannot afford, so you can always be broke and keep on living paycheck to paycheck. Or should i say food stamp to food stamp? Rely on the government, family, friends or charity to care for you  your whole life and do not try to make your life better. ‘money is the root of all evil’. Anyone who is working hard and not making excuses becomes your enemy, and condemn anyone who DARES to call you lazy.

If you can borrow something, why not? Borrow all the money you can to satisfy your wants, and purchase only the most expensive goods in the market so everyone knows that you are a poor high-class person. Even when lending sums of money to people , do not set a deadline, do not have a collateral and do not make it binding by law. Being a foolish lender is being there for one’s neighbour just as the bible instructed. Besides,people will call you wicked and selfish if you refuse to lend even when you do not have. It’s okay to stay poor if your conscience is clear and clean.

Budgeting? Why should you make a budget? Do not calculate your expenses because it does not matter what goes in and out every month because money is meant to be spent? 

flat lay photography of calendar
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Financial planning takes so much time and effort but what use is when natural disasters happen and destabilize you? You will jump right back on your feet. That is what will happen.  Things always happen, the solution is you being able to brace any storm without being drowned.

As an african parent would tell you ” spend all the money you have hein, when your friends will be driving in range rovers and you’ll be in keke, you will know’

Wisdom is when you figure out that the tips i have typed down will cause you a financial disaster, and you choose to flip the script to financial freedom.

 

         ” MONEY IS OLD AND WISE,  MAN IS OLDER AND SHOULD THEREFORE BE WISER”   Nahlesu