One minute you are ten years old and the next minute you are thirty.
One minute you are full and the next minute you are hungry.
One minute you are a baby and the next minute you have babies of your own.
One minute you are totally dependent and the next minute someone is depending on you.
One minute you are strong and healthy and the next minute you are weak and frail.
One minute you are happy and the next minute you are drowning in sadness.
One minute you are here and the next minute you are not.
As fast as these things happen, at the moment of realization you would expect people to live more consciously, more directed toward service but its the complete opposite. There is still so much hate and pain and evil. So I will do my own little part until my time is done, hoping that my tiny ripple could turn into a wave as it grows even in my absence.
One minute I’m writing this post and the next minute I’m publishing it. You reading this post this minute is not a coincidence, you are bigger than you think you are. Stop wasting the minutes doubting yourself. Just live fearlessly but be kind, it only takes a minute.
I woke up that morning with nothing on my mind. Night shift is starting in a few hours and I need to get some sleep.
I had watched Black Panther, Avengers End game and a couple other movies that week just to see Chadwick Boseman.
If for a second I had known that he may have been taking his last breath, could it have been different?
I get to work and start my night. I decide to take a break a few hours later, the n95 mask was suffocating me. I sit down at the table in the staff break room, after rummaging the fridge for sandwiches. A post on whatsapp gets me…’the Black Panther is no more’ crying emoji.
Obviously I think its a joke. Every year people always trying to get clout with one actors death or another. I did not want to check Twitter because I was low-key afraid it might be true. Its not something that just pops out of the blue. I mean why would anyone want to make up a story that Chadwick Boseman passed?
Let us be Honest, going with the flow everyday is so easy and undemanding. A routine on the other hand feels like going against the grain,because of the amount of effort you have to put in to get the results that you want.
What is a HABIT? According to the Merriam Webster online dictionary it is defined as “an acquired mode of behaviour that has become nearly or completely involuntary”.Other definitions include “a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance”
If you note the word ‘acquired’ which means “gained by or as a result of effort or experience”, meaning habits are not hereditary. So my lack of commitment is not hereditary, my procrastination is not in borne, my laziness was not thrust upon me (Shakespeare talks about greatness).
Therefore, every habit is a conscious decision to be and do better. To develop means “to create or produce especially by deliberate effort over time” You cannot have the future you want unless you create it for yourself by developing habits that work towards attaining your goal.
1 You have to know what it is you want. Who you want to be. Define your result, so you develop your resistance.
2 You will need to put in effort. You cannot break a bad habit without the willingness and desire to be free from it. Everyday, choose to be the person you want to be.
3 It will take some time. Your mind and body need to be in sync and this happens when you know who you are, you have put in the effort and you are ready to be that person. You have been harboring this bad habit for a while, your body and mind will fight change, but with your developed resistance you will reap the results.
4 You will need to be constantly motivated and inspired. Try to create that kind of space for yourself,mentally and physically. Like watching movies or listening to audiobooks that move you to action. Surround yourself with the right people.
Hi everyone! My last post on ‘things that make no sense to me’ obviously received mixed responses. Well, since beliefs and foundations differ, you cannot make everyone see your point especially, when they do not want to give up their ways of thinking. Thank you to those who contributed to the content today.
Thinking marriage is an accomplishment. A reward for good character. Do not automatically assume yourself better than others because you are married.
Men who think that because they are married they are more responsible. Haha, society paints it so. Patriarchy is still deeply embedded in the society. It’s not ‘man’ up to get married, you are just ‘adulting’, it’s what you do when you get older, nothing special.
Why do you think your sin is better than another person’s sin? Sin is sin. If it’s considered wrong, it’s wrong. In court a wrongdoing is judged on a predetermined basis. But in God’s court rain falls on the good and evil alike. Don’t think you won’t get any rain because you haven’t “sinned”.
When you think that you are perfect because you’ve had just one sexual partner your whole life. How does that define perfection?
Lastly, is the fact that some people are still going from church to church looking for a miracle. They refuse to put in any effort in the way they want to change their lives. But they never fail to judge others,who unlike them had the courage to take a risk.
“THE SHALLOW END IS WHERE YOU DON’T DROWN, BUT THE DEEP END IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN SWIM” Ebony Obsidian
Lets face it, there are times and days when you just want to lazy about doing nothing. That is what most people call boredom. They will tell you they have watched all the movies and series available and they so not know what else to do with their time. Really? Like really? As an advocate of the simple life , we should stop complicating every little thing just because we are not willing to try it, for reasons such as fear or pride or just outright unwillingness to unlearn anything. You choose not to take interest in other activities because you feel you do not directly benefit from them. .How to STOP Procrastinating , read till the end so you will not need to worry about your free time!
READING. yes. Anything. Literally. You must always learn something new from any book, be it fiction,inspirational, nonfiction,historical,romance, autobiographies or even a children’s book. You can visit the library and read there if your house is too noisy and besides you will have a wide collection to choose from. Reading takes you to so many different places, broadens your imagination and thoughts and improves your vocabulary. Plus it usually puts me to sleep at night especially when i am having a hard time falling asleep. Read more by clicking on this link why reading is important
WRITING. Obviously. You don’t have the skill for just copying and pasting notes in class or during exams do you? Write down what your day was like, the highs and lows. A few things you would change if you could. A bucket list. Anything. tips on writing a diary.
TRY OUT A NEW RECIPE. My Uncle can go from Cameroon to Chinese real fast! Save some money, and try the dish out at home by following the recipe and why not customizing it to suit your taste perfectly. My Dad cooked for us so much that my first meal of hot pot potatoes he threw into the farm. It was that bad he could not even give it to the dogs. smh. But I have come far, and I don’t mind my first try being tasteless, I will learn and improve. I have tried Lasagna and oven roasted a full turkey. Well , my mum helped. Try with a small amount first , then as you get better you can increase the quantity. recipes afrocaribbeanrecipes
GET BETTER AT ONE OF YOUR HOBBIES. Not watching television. Hobbies like swimming, cycling, painting, drawing, dancing. Try getting better at it, you love it does not mean you are good at it. Learn in details the structure of your passions and strive to excel in it. So many people out here saying they love doing this or that , and you ask them how many times they have actually done it, or any proof that they actually invest any time or money in said venture and the result is always zero. Do not be one of them.
PLAY WORD GAMES OR PUZZLES. There are all sorts of mathematical and english game apps now. You can buy yourself crossword puzzles and you will amazed how ignorant you are!Video games are definitely addicting! game apps to try.
CALL A FRIEND, VISIT A RELATIVE OR WINDOW SHOP, Lol yeah it’s not that serious. Make sure when window shopping you do not have any money, or you might be tempted to spend on what you do not actually need. Works of mercy too are important, visiting the orphanage or just being nice to an older person. Call your friend up, go hang out with them and de-stress. Go babysit a friends baby and give the parents a break, kids are such a blessing but can also be backbreaking. Get out of the house by all means, look at the sky, touch the grass, walk barefoot. You will dead longer.
WATCH A DOCUMENTARY. One of those days you feel like listening to an audiobook download audiobooks instead of reading, or watching shaka zulu and learning about animals you never knew existed! That is so much fun. Knowing how your country emerged to what it is today. Cameroon on the other hand will need to have its history rewritten.
TRY LEARNING A NEW LANGUAGE. English,French,Spanish, Chinese. Well i am definitely not learning chinese but do not let me discourage you, “nǐ hǎo” is probably all my brain can take. While learning a new language you learn the cultures of the people and it will astound you the similarities we all share. Did you know in Spain most households buy fresh bread every day. Traditionally, they are long baguettes called barras or pistolas. Bread is present (and required) at almost every meal. Just like in Cameroon, some people have taken bread and tea to a whole new level.
EXERCISE. Why do people hate exercise? The voluntary action of moving your limbs is so dismal. After childhood the thought of playing is farfetched, how will we when we have all become so heavy and view everything manual as a chore. Exercise is a form of de-stressing, a form of fun, health improvement, and your body looks better. So why not do it? By the time many of us get to 40, we experience pain on all our joints because of lack of exercise. Just like you exercise your body, exercise your brain, read, write, solve math. You can start with at home stretches and workout like this workout.
SEX. Talking about exercise, sex is a good sport. Please forget the quickies and after 5 minutes its over types. I am talking about the process of sex, from the excitement stages all through resolution. From most stories, females usually end at the plateau stage, never quite fully attaining orgasm, which is why masturbation is good. Betty Dodson still has much to say on this in her BLOG and I cannot help but agree with her that we do not even know our own bodies, therefore we do not know how to touch it. No one can give you an orgasm. This is diversion , i am here preaching instead of staying focused on the matter at hand. During your free time, have sex, good sex, so you can rest as it does improve your sleep, if it was good.
READ THE BIBLE, PRAY, AND, OR MEDITATE. Improving your spiritual life means lifting burdens and being aware of the greater powers at work in your life and in the world. It means remaining positive that everyday will be better because you know God sits on the throne. Meditation is another form of intense prayer, but it involves clearing your mind of everything, and just being in the now. Cancelling out all the noise, which is so difficult in this day and age of technology where something is always on. But how to meditate is all a matter of practice. Praying, meditation, bible study, are all a means of connecting to our higher self and thus the Almighty.
ORGANISE YOUR PHONE. Seems easy, but girlfriend has more than a 100,000 photos in her phone and over 10,000 videos and she has not watched or viewed up to a quarter of them, and it is unlikely she will because they will keep adding. Take your time, go through your file manager and delete all those whatsapp pictures and videos. Go through your camera and delete pictures that you took that are not as nice as others and back the rest up in the cloud. Your phone is crowded that is why it is malfunctioning. Your brain is crowded that is why it is malfunctioning. Clean it! You do not actually need the pictures as much as you think you do. Clear you chats , your messages, your phone call log, your voicemail. Go to Facebook and instagram and twitter and all that and delete old posts, especially those that do not support your current viewpoint. Delete useless apps and while you are looking at contacts you have not contacted in a long time be sure to try doing just that. Contacting them. Your yahoo or Gmail accounts are probably overflowing, clear those out too. What the heck, just reset the damn phone!
REDECORATE. After organising your phone, your home needs some renovation too. These apps can help you sell old stuff online while you redecorate. Your house is your little sanctuary, always strive to make it as comfortable as possible. Put up new decor, or if you cannot afford it, rearrange existing decor. Just create a PINTEREST account and you can look up hundreds of designs, DIY and much more! Throw out old stuff, there is no need piling up all those things you hold on to , probably because of sentiments. Read my previous blog post on HOW “MATERIALISTIC” ARE YOU?
PLAN SOMETHING. Why are you afraid of taking risks? Why do you feel you will not be able to accomplish something just at the mere thought of it? Why do you cancel your dreams out so fast before they can think of realising themselves? Plan something big this time. A trip…start saving towards it, start focusing all your energy on how much fun you will have. A surprise party for your mother or your friend, imagine how happy they will be! A new field of study, or specialising further in your area of expertise. Visiting the zoo perhaps? Write a bucket list,try visualizing and writing down how you plan to accomplish each task and face it fearlessly. Will Smith is now doing everything he had on his bucket list,( crazy, scary things though) just so you know life is short and time is not your friend.
SPLURGE ON YOURSELF. Is it a waste of money to have a spa day? Is it a waste of time to just soak all day and listen to music? Body, mind and soul needs rejuvenation , and how else do you relax and unwind if you do not devote time and space to yourself? If you have a full house, wake up before everyone, make a cup of tea and just enjoy the sunrise. Get a pedicure or an acupuncture. Do some facials.Go on a date…with yourself. Go somewhere fancy, dress up and eat some crazy stuff. Go to that hotel and spend a soothing weekend. Your memories will always thank you for that. As generous as you are to others be as generous to yourself.
TRY SOMETHING NEW. Fear will definitely get the better of us if we do not learn how to overcome it. You cannot be lukewarm , you are either hot or cold, in or out…no sitting on the fence. Wear that dress that is way out of your comfort zone, Try on different lipsticks or nail varnish.Fear of heights? Take a flight, or do indoor skydiving. Every chance you get to try something new, do not miss it or you will always end up telling people the story of “I ALMOST”. I swear I could have told you the story of almost but seeing that it was almost finished but unfinished, i rest my case.
Janet was pregnant. Again. The fifth child in seven years. The third man. Her life had taken a different spin after the third child. Everyone stopped helping her babysit and stopped giving her money too. She felt her family was wicked and heartless to her and her children after all, isn’t God who gives children? She should be blessed and revered for being so fertile and birthing them because other women will have abortions.
Peter quit his job. His only source of income. The pastor told im that he cannot serve two masters at the same time. Peter chose God. His wife took his son and left the house for her parents because she could not stay with an unproductive man. How was his going to church from dawn till dusk unproductive? How can his total submission to the most high be wrong? He believed that God just exposed his enemies, so let them flee from him.
Faith and George have been dating for 10 years. George is an armed robber and Faith is a teacher. She knows what he is doing is wrong but God put her in Georges life to change him. She believes that he will leave his bad ways and become a better man and husband to be. If she leaves him now after all the years they have been through together, God will punish her and she might not even find another man like George.
Carine was diagnosed with HIV. Since then she has already had sex with 50 different men because she wants to spread the disease. Why will God do this to her? How can her own husband infect her? She has been faithful to him since they married, why did he not do the same? Maybe it is Gods way of getting him to calm down and remain faithful, Carine thought.
Martin was heartbroken. But a heartbreak is not the end of the world. It is Gods way of showing you all the other people in the world you were missing. So he goes on a heartbreak spree, after all someone has to break someone elses’ heart. God will understand him and his actions. His family had told him not to date the lady but he was in love. God had already showed him the signs from the beginning when his family said no.
Miriam is a business woman. She sells dishonestly in order to make a heavy profit. God is good to her and keeps her business alive so she can provide for her family. Not everyone is so blessed to have daily bread.
King just watched his younger sister die in a hospital bed because there was no blood donor for a transfusion. She was 18 and still a virgin. She was pure. His friend said God takes away the good ones and besides it was her time. Dont question God because his ways are not ours. Maybe God didn’t want blood in the hospital so she could rest. If there was a donor she would have been alive.
Queen and Joe’s mother was a witch. Everybody knew she was evil and they were all waiting for God to take her life. People like her are from satan. God forbid she touches anyone. She is old and sick and it serves her right as she will reap all the evil she sowed. God will always repay you for the evil or good you do. They are very rich siblings and nobody believes they worked hard to get rich. When their mother passed, people said they sacrificed their mother for money rituals and God will expose them one day.
There are more than a trillion stories I could recount , and many more that you could recount to me. Some of the questions I ask myself are Has this ‘self righteousness’ made us forget that there is nature? Has it made us forget our own free will? Are we always looking for someone to take the blame? Everyone is guilty and nobody is perfect is the word, but nobody accepts that they have done wrong(or whatever wrong means). Are we quick to condemn others? Or do we just hide our true nature?