I am disappointed in myself. The title contradicts my reality, the fact that I have not typed a word for over a month is a depiction of how we let important things slide.
Stay committed i preach, irresponsibility I eat. Start a project, work hard, make a plan and stick with it till the end. *sighs* This is where the negative starts coming in and talking to you. STOP RIGHT THERE! Do not let that negative voice linger in your head any longer than it already has. You are a child of God. God hates the fact that I am lazying around on the talent He gave me to develop, how then will He bless me?
You already know what you have to do, and it involves sacrificing trivial things such as sleep,food and entertainment…sometimes harder things to let go of that truly serve no purpose to you,in order that you dedicate yourself to yourself.
If I choose to make a commitment now that I will write everyday, who will hold me accountable if I don’t? ME. You need to be your own judiciary, executive,and legislative committee. Checking and balancing whatever comes in with whatever goes out. It is important that you know who you are, I cannot stress this enough. It’s a continuous change, but you should be able to keep track of the old you and the new you.
Many women stay pregnant for 9 months because they have no choice. If it were 6 months or 1 year, you will adhere because it is a natural phenomenon. Do something supernatural, stick to a project for longer than 9 months where you have a choice to flee after you fall, or stick to it and succeed.
Stay committed to building your identity so much so that people won’t have to recognize you through works of another. As Emma Ugolee said in his book A 100 random light bulbs “Establishing individuality is one of the biggest favours you can do for yourself in this lifetime.”
Stay committed to standing out. Who said it’s no fun running alone? It is important to have people who help you along the way but do not cling to these temporal relationships just because you need someone to talk to. The only permanent and primary relationship you have and need is with God and yourself.
“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ― Albert Einstein
I am quite sure most of us have used a taxi at least once in our lives. You know a taxi,the car that does not take you somewhere for free.There are some rides that you love and others that you don’t, like if there was a way to jump out of the car before ‘pa koki‘ comes in and squeezes you to death you would but you need to get home. Or ‘mami cassava’ comes in all sweaty and smears it all over your arm(you do not know why you wore a sleeveless blouse that day.)
The invention of the mobile taxi came with the smart technology and since people do not carry cash anymore they figured people won’t be able to pay taxi drivers, and switched to mobile payments.In Cameroon,you could stand on the road for years,and all taxis approaching are not going your direction.That sucks.With uber or lyft,you can call an available taxi(and any type you want too!)to where you are.It is obviously very expensive but isn’t that the price for smartness?
It is for countries that have internet services, not MTN,ORANGE nor CAMTEL in Cameroon where you cannot even watch a video on whatsapp because it takes ages to download, or it keeps reconnecting calls or your data just expires right before your eyes, when you are sure you had enough data.Plus when Cameroon will have readable GPS and available cars in good condition,maybe then but for now who needs uber in Cameroon when we have “okada” our fancy name for motorcycles, to take you to your doorstep no matter how rugged the road is? A motorcycle that will take you to all the corners the taxi refused going no matter the weather? *giggles.
Unforunately, I have no female stories from Cameroon because the whole transportation industry was male dominated, I tell you from the car wash,to the mechanics to the drivers to the CEO’s were all men.Thank goodness things are changing now and women are becoming more active in the transport business,so you definitely will hear stories about that.On Twitter however I see incredible stories about women driving “keke” and taxis,motorcycles and trucks for a living. More courage to women doing jobs that were labeled “only for men.”
I am sure most women have been sexually targeted in taxis.Touched,spoken to,taken somewhere unconsented to.There are so many stories to tell and I would love if you could share your stories with me in the comment section!
I was standing outside the bonamoussadi council office, Douala when it started drizzling,not wanting to get wet I quickly jumped into the next available taxi inattentive to the state of the car.Oddly when I was about to get in, a man stepped out;one of the passengers obviously telling me to go in since he will be alighting before me and wouldnt want to cause me any inconvenience.Well let’s be clear here “DO NOT EVER DO THAT!” especially if there is another man on the other side meaning you will be squashed. If they insist,take another ride,better get soaked in rain than harmed.I took the risk and went it,there was another man in the front seat ,both of us at the back plus the driver.Conversation started like this (translating to English from french).
Driver: Goodevening Madam. i just saved you from a serious soak!
Me(fake smiling because his taxi smelled so musty i could not breathe,plus the Douala heat)Yeah you did.
It seems they were actually in the middle of a conversation and i just got dragged into it when one of the men asked me a question.
Front seat man:All these “panthers” out here sucking men dry, are you one of them my beautiful girl?
Ok people at this point I just wanted to get home and did not want to engage with illiterates whose only interest is codswallop.(panthers means sugarbaby or any young lady)I did not respond and just kept looking out the window slightly smiling to show that I was not completely ignoring them.
Back seat man:”Why aren’t you answering? Or are we not your type?”Then he started talking to the men in the front seat “Don’t mind these girls,they always want us to beg or cajole them.We have women begging us now.”
LOL, I do not know why men think women are always playing hard to get when they do not want to talk to them.Its the past mentality, many men always persisted and women gave in.By the way the conversation in the taxi quickly went south.
Front seat man:”Most of the younger ones do not even take care of their bodies the way the older ones do.I had sex with a 40 year old and she was so good.Her vagina was smooth and smell free with a smooth body.Not like some young ones that have body odour and strong vaginal odours.”Then he turned to me “You better take care of yourself too.”
Imagine being in a taxi with three older men talking about women and their privates.I quickly alighted before my destination because your girl could not obviously spend her energy trying to explain to these over 45year old men that their opinions are not important.
In most African countries and NON-african countries …i honestly do not want to say all.Women are viewed as “the rib”not as complete human beings made like men.They are second-class,unbelonging perishables.Even women perpetuate this story,about how you have no name or nation until you get married.So your body and your whole life has no use,because when you will have kids you will need to sacrifice your lasr drop of blood to raise them.
In effect, always becareful when entering a taxi.If it does not feel right,please do not enter, or alight once you feel uncomfortable. If you are already in, you can text the name and car number of the taxi to a friends.You can also place a call to someone the entire journey to avoid you getting into useless conversations. Stay Safe.
I am not exactly #teamsmoothfacenopimples but at least I am blessed with a normal canvas. I am a self-taught makeup artist and I am slowly growing and learning. What is makeup to you? Do you think it is just a means of ‘concealing spots’ or a means of ‘uncovering beauty’?
just like a book is nothing until you write in it, a face is nothing until you brighten it.
So if we could all just come off the ” you look better without any makeup” train and choose to do makeup because we love it and we love the way we look in it when we play with all the colors nature has to offer. Why do you do your hair? Why do you wash and moisturise your skin? Why do you wear beautiful clean clothes? Why do you use perfume and deodorant?
While you are answering the above questions I will be talking about a few beforehand preparations for your face before you apply makeup, in order to acquire a flawless and lasting look. Just like a painter preps his canvas before drawing, mixes his paints and all, is the same way you need to do for your face. No matter how naturally smooth your face is, you will need to prepare it prior to the makeup application. Failing to plan is planning to fail. I always start thinking of the kind of look i want to wear the night before, always have a visualization of the look you want to achieve to be able to actually follow through with all the steps till you get it.
The night before, it is very important to cleanse your face using any face wash. If you are acne prone you can use one containing salicylic acid. After properly washing your face , go on to use a face scrub. I use Sivoderm products a lot and they helped me get rid of my acne. The scrub will get rid of dead cells thereby guaranteeing a smooth finish. Many people forget to exfoliate their lips. Your lips peel off alot more because they are so exposed all the time to the weather. Getting your lipstick on without cracks will require crack free lips(crack free). Try the simple toothbrush hack, that is scrub is with your toothbrush and the apply honey and sugar and scrub that out using your fingers. Then wash it off completely and apply any lip balm of your choice.
Sometimes after this step I use a face mask mostly for moisture, because it is no good applying makeup to a dry face. Once you are done, rinsing off and patting your face dry you can then apply your face cream and head off for bed.
Beauty sleep, anyone? You will wake up with baby smooth skin the next morning and your foundation will be so happy sitting on top of you. At this point all you need to do is rinse your face, with no soap. Then use a cold eye gel mask(after leaving in the freezer for 60 seconds) or you can wrap an iceblock in a towel and rub it on your face. This is to reduce puffiness under your eyes and on your face and also to freshen and wake it up. Literally.
The lips are that stubborn though, I always need to still brush them with my toothbrush in the morning before putting on lipstick. I do not know if it is age but when i was a teenager my lips could thrive on my saliva alone, but now, they cannot even survive on vaseline. Sigh.
Makeup application one oh one. Maybe in another blog post we can go through the makeup application process. All depends on the look you want to realize. I sure hope these few tips will help you with your makeup applications and ensure a smooth and lasting finish.
I thought I would write to let you know that after years of thinking (and even talking) about it, I am finally going to leave you later this year, probably on or around Easter, definitely before the summer.
You won’t really miss me. I was never one for posting photos of my amazing holidays or beautiful children (though they are, naturally) or thousands of awards and shortlists for my poetry (there haven’t been any) or arguments with other poets (ditto) or photos of the jam I have just made or that weekend living in my van.
I used you to spread the word about my blog, which I still love and feel wholly committed to in spite of everyone telling me blogging has died since Twitter. And, to be fair to you, you were good at that: getting the word out, helping me to get noticed, talked about…
I am not good at those, that is probably why I did not introduce myself in my first post. If its my name you are interested in, it has been believed to have come from different civilizations starting with Egypt, through India and even Turkey. Most believe it is South African…however it is unbelievably Cameroonian. Yeah Cameroon, a bilingual country that shares borders with Nigeria(most people know that one)…i hate having to over explain where Cameroon is on the world map.
Now that we have roughly estimated what part of the map I come from, we can move forward to sex determination. Tough talk nowadays hein? So I have kids. Let me rephrase that, I gave birth to people, so that makes me a woman, amazing we figured that out real quick. I thought i was going to have to use a whole page trying to explain why I think I am a woman or female, but pushing heads out through an elastic hole usually does the trick. Just ask ourselves a few questions , especially when trying to identify with the LGBT community and accepting their difference. Songs like ‘like a boy’ by Ciara , and movies like ‘think like a man’ are all songs addressed to females. Do you sometimes ever feel like being a boy? Or the opposite sex ? Or something else totally? Some creature? Well, you can answer those questions in the comfort of your bedrooms, I will leave it here for now.
Who am I really? I love writing. duh! On a general perspective of my character traits , i am just me. As humans we always try to box everything, and then start ‘unboxing‘ them, then tell people to think outside the box, tell them to think like there is no box…*confusion*. One thing is clear, I am a nonconformist. I have friends, I do sometimes feel odd (i am odd) talking with them because they are not supporting of my ideas of going against the grain. It is difficult to communicate with people because it seems everyone is determined to misunderstand me or my motives. But oh well, who understands humans?
Someday I will write that phonetically but for now just pronounce every letter as you read. The beauty of African names is , sometimes they are simple,straight to the point, you read what you see. Other times, what you see is not even remotely connected to what has to come out of your mouth (Q could be R). Totally unpredictable. I love my name, so much so i do not use it much because of mispronunciation.
GIFT from a far place or the farm. that is what my name means. A gift from a far place or from the farm does not come cheap, it has been planting,waiting,harvesting,processing and then delivering. When the baby is in the womb, or when you have to send a gift overseas to a loved one. What names do you have and what do they mean?
Thank you for listening. This was just a short introduction to the blog owner. I am supposed to drop a photo to probably make myself look more trustworthy online..i know…but maybe in my next post I will do that.
Well, in my case I am definitely not able to put my head down and start something ONE time. This is probably the tenth time I am starting a blog. It is 2019 and I need to stop making excuses. We make our own choices and that is what shapes our lives. Now imagine I had a blog ten tries ago,(don’t use years, you might feel older than you are. Tries is more subtle and does not fill you with as much guilt as years does) i will not be here now typing and ‘backspacing’ because my writing skills would have been better and i wont be having writers block.
Have you ever woken up in the morning and just decided to go down that path you dreaded so badly? Rash decisions. That is what made me start writing for the public on this platform.
I was <still am though not active for no apparent reason except the fact that I am sure there was supposed to be a P in my name for Procrastination> on an app called WATTPAD. I am so ashamed of myself because I have the audacity to forget my username. SIGH. This is 2019, and I am not about to make some rash new year resolutions when I still have 2014 resolutions pending. Another shameful fact is that i have had a twitter account for over 8 years and I do not have a following of up to 200 people. I am on Pinterest, Instagram, Snapchat ,Tumblr(passive)….let’s get back to that P should we? PASSIVE PROCRASTINATOR. A definition of someone who has the drive and skills to do something but chooses not to. I do not want to remain that person.I want to be able to achieve my goals and dreams and not just write them down and daydream about it. Yes, I will do it ten more times if that is what it takes to be myself and the best; but I do not want to have to start and stop, time waits for no one.
As I sign off my first blog post ‘gone viral’ .CHUCKLES. here , a word to the first and subsequent readers…DO IT NOW.