MONEY MISMANAGEMENT 101.

THE UPSIDE DOWN RULE.

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This is not a class to get you to mogul level, this is a tutorial on how to ace your poverty score. I want to teach you how to properly mismanage your money using just about three or four tips, because we are all tired of these financial analysts telling us how to spend every hard-earned coin. That is exactly why I am here, big spender to use the money sitting in your account wasting.

You must have heard it before that to make more money you need to spend more money. I do not know exactly how that works because if I buy a new car, how do I get more money off the car after using it? Even if I have to sell it off , I wouldn’t be able to sell it for over the price I bought it, that is because it does not appreciate over time. That is why my first advise to you will  be  that you neither save nor invest your money. After all, you won’t live forever and other people will enjoy your hard-earned labour after your death. Spend everything you earn and live free,money cannot buy happiness. Why should you give up your short-term luxuries for financial freedom in the future(when you do not even know whether you will  BE in the future? The future is here and now.

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What the heck, enjoy it all.  Live above your means. Make sure you buy everything you cannot afford, so you can always be broke and keep on living paycheck to paycheck. Or should i say food stamp to food stamp? Rely on the government, family, friends or charity to care for you  your whole life and do not try to make your life better. ‘money is the root of all evil’. Anyone who is working hard and not making excuses becomes your enemy, and condemn anyone who DARES to call you lazy.

If you can borrow something, why not? Borrow all the money you can to satisfy your wants, and purchase only the most expensive goods in the market so everyone knows that you are a poor high-class person. Even when lending sums of money to people , do not set a deadline, do not have a collateral and do not make it binding by law. Being a foolish lender is being there for one’s neighbour just as the bible instructed. Besides,people will call you wicked and selfish if you refuse to lend even when you do not have. It’s okay to stay poor if your conscience is clear and clean.

Budgeting? Why should you make a budget? Do not calculate your expenses because it does not matter what goes in and out every month because money is meant to be spent? 

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Financial planning takes so much time and effort but what use is when natural disasters happen and destabilize you? You will jump right back on your feet. That is what will happen.  Things always happen, the solution is you being able to brace any storm without being drowned.

As an african parent would tell you ” spend all the money you have hein, when your friends will be driving in range rovers and you’ll be in keke, you will know’

Wisdom is when you figure out that the tips i have typed down will cause you a financial disaster, and you choose to flip the script to financial freedom.

 

         ” MONEY IS OLD AND WISE,  MAN IS OLDER AND SHOULD THEREFORE BE WISER”   Nahlesu