January 30th. After almost 5 full months of not writing a single word I have shamefully picked up my mantle. The sudden death announcement of the legendary 96 year old actress Cicely Tyson earlier yesterday has once again shaken the Black community. She just released a memoir “just as I am” https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/books/cicely-tyson-memoir/2021/01/27/3e633d02-60a9-11eb-9061-07abcc1f9229_story.html She was blessed with a long and fruitful life. Her story, her life and her words still resound the need for authenticity. You have to be true to yourself, do not settle. Know your roots. Especially for women (people of color are emphasized). It was this same time last year we lost Kobe Bryant( a professional basketball player)and his daughter to a helicopter accident. May their souls rest in peace.
2020 I do not need to mention. The corona virus is still spreading worldwide(or at least in the US), there is now a vaccine and Biden is now president. Meanwhile conflict in certain AFRICAN countries like Cameroon, Sudan and Congo are still ongoing amounting to thousands of deaths and nothing is being done about it. We will not delve into those details right now. Just know that however your 2021 begun, remain thankful that you are here to witness it.
2021 Welcome. Even though the enthusiasm is dampened by events of the past, believe it or not we remain hopeful. A few words of encouragement to everyone out there either having the best time of their life or a low moment…keep pushing and holding on to your peace of mind. It is easy to be overwhelmed by external factors so much so that you lose track of who you are and your purpose. Social Media is becoming a dangerous outlet for expression these days with most people working from home and children doing virtual learning it is difficult to control what the mind consumes. Keep doing the work and putting in as much effort as possible with no space to quit. Choose wisely.
Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They’re what make the instrument stretch — what make you go beyond the norm.” Cecily Tyson
Don’t we all wish we had the fountain of youth to stay forever young? You cannot evade maturing, but you can accept it, be prepared for it, and enjoy the process. As many say age is just a number, it’s not a physical conclusion but more of an external manifestation of the internal demonstration. Everyone matures at different rates and its up to you to figure yours out and learn how to tweak it in your favour.
If you realise you wrinkle more in certain areas, or you have hyperpigmentation or weight gain or whatever differences you start noticing, you will need to start acting quickly. Change your diet, incorporate more exercise, use creams and essential oils, get a spa day often . Just generally put more effort into body care. Since I am here to actually talk about makeup, I will not dwell on that…do not say I didn’t mention skin care!
Don’t we all want that makeupnomakeup look that kids and little bunnies have? Awww. If Lawrence from the marketing department doesn’t have to ask you why you look tired today, or Suzy from human resource is worried about your “sad look”. Jeez guys I AM FINE!!! So because of that I have found ways to keep your eyes and face always bright without necessarily having to layer tons of product. After all, as you age your skin does not like excess product because of the natural lines (called wrinkles) forming on your face which tend to crease a lot.
TIP #1 Do not apply too much product to your face. Whether its primer, or foundation or concealer or face creams. A little goes a long way to make it work especially if you are blending correctly.
TIP #2 Color correction saves lives. Not being dramatic or anything, but have you ever felt you looked funny after applying makeup? Or after oxidising the color does not seem quite right? Honey you were not sold the wrong shade, the discoloration on that part of your body needed an eraser. Color correcting creams in orange,red,blue,green,purple,peach,white etc will help blend the underlying color with the color of the foundation so it does not come off as grey, or black. Oh and you would not need to hide your face either.
TIP #3 Do not bake! I love cakes and everything but that stays in the oven! I do not extend baking to my face, especially now that I am growing older. Your under eyes are already drying out slowly, you do not need powder casserole to make it any dryer. Less is always more. Just use enough setting powder and brush off the excess. Adding powder on your face through out the day to blot out shine is acceptable, but just don’t let it sit there for hours.
TIP #4 Use concealer only under your eyes. Misunderstanding from the get go. You can use it on your whole face if you like, but to avoid too much product buildup, do not spread the foundation under your eyes then apply concealer on top of it. let your foundation stop right on your cheeks and use just color corrector and concealers all the way. Thank you Wayne Goss for this tip. Also the concealer needs to be at least a shade or two lighter, for brighter, non-sleep-deprived eyes.
TIP #5 Even if you do not want to wear makeup, wear some lip gloss or lipstick. And some mascara. You cannot go wrong by adding eyeliner or a false eyelash. Put some earrings on , comb your hair and pout your lips!
TIP #6 Avoid too light eyeshadows. Well in your 40s and 50s you start experiencing a reduction of elasticity around your eyelids and some droopiness. Darker eyeshadows conceal better and alter your eye shape more especially when you properly deepen the crease. Lighter eyeshadows tend to reveal a lot more droopiness and you will probably look older instead of youthful. Just like a black dress draws light away from you generally altering your figure, the same way dark colors on your eyes alter their shape.
TIP #7 Hair Counts! Well whether you want a mane or not, always make sure you are doing your hair to flatter your features. Whatever color you use should always be in your favour.
TIP #8 As long as you can wear clothes, wear them. Makeup is not only about applying color to the face, it’s about what dress you are wearing, what hair do as these all supplement the entire look. When you wear clothes that do not fit your frame, you look older than you are and even more tired. Always dress smart and bright, if the focus is not on your makeup, wear a flattering dress. This is for men too. Always try to appear neat.
TIP #9 SMILE . It just doesn’t hurt. Older people are generally thought to look sad (do not ask me questions). As you age and your features begin to droop, that is generally the result, but with a smile you get a constant ” face lift”. So why not do it. NOW.
60 the new 20, I open the post and the first thing I see is a tree, this girl is crazy.
How old do you think the tree in that picture is? Obviously older than you are, and it is still rooted there strong and sturdy. It has withstood all forms of weather and still shaded people and animals, aging yes…but still alive. Maybe it is still there because it was not cut off by some human,(thank God) or maybe because it chose not to wilt away. Whatever the reason it is here now and it is here to teach us a lesson.
How old is too old to be able to do anything? Am I too old at 30 to still be in the dating game? ‘go settle down’ ‘you are irresponsible’ ‘you need to build a family’. Am I too old at 50 to have children? ‘your ovaries are dried up’ ‘you need to relax and enjoy your grownup kids’ ‘all your friends will have grownup kids by then’ ‘your time has passed’ Am I too old at 60 go to a bar or dance? ‘go drink oolong tea in your backyard grandpa’ ‘your bones are dead’ Am i too old at 70 to wear a bikini? ‘your skin is wrinkled mama,cover it up’ ‘accept that you are worthless and move on’. Am I too old at 80 to enjoy sex? ‘eeww, how can that happen?’ ‘That man surely takes viagra’
Older men and women go through this everyday, slowly killing their drive to live another day. The feeling that they do not have much physical or mental strength as they used to, the fact that they have to retire from their regular jobs , the constant reminder that they are old and everyone feels sorry for them from the pitiful looks on the faces of youngsters who are flaunting youthful skin and running on strong legs. At the end of the day is age actually just a number or is it a state of mind? Just like the tree in the picture knows what it has to do , it deepens its roots further into the ground to be able to withstand each season and still serve its purpose in every age. Be like the tree.
Society has set its timelines as to when everything is supposed to happen in our lives, and it is up to us to make changes and stop sheepishly following the crowd for fear of being left out. In a world like ours, it is generally not easy moving on your path because of the heavy pressure asserted on us by family , friends and the society in general. Plus in a place like Cameroon where you will need a job, and money and connection it is not as easy as I say it. Most people have had an encounter with disappointment so great that every dream they can conceive is contaminated with the toxic anxiety of failure. S for the rest of their lives they prefer to always play safe.
I have been swayed left to right before and having kids does not make it better but you need to keep fighting for you. Nobody wants to be seen as odd or uncultured. All parents want their kids in the same spheres as their classmates, and children start feeling unaccomplished when they have no job at 20,are not married by 25, no kids by 35, no house at 45, and to crown all that with what nobody actually cares about is sense of self. At 80 or 90 when all is said and done, you look back on your life and is that a tinge of regret I see? A stain on you presumed perfect life? You followed the crowd and they left you on the sidewalk with nothing but your damaged core they took and played around with. You woke up from your slumber 30 years too late.
I have friends who tell me they cannot wear certain clothes because they are parents now. They cannot do certain things because they are spouses now. We are the ones who end up setting our own limitations. Your mind is not free and you are trapped in this prison of guilt when all you are truly afraid of is what someone who does not even care about you will think of you.
How many times in your 20s or 30s or even 40s did you actually choose to put effort in something you wanted to do? How many times did you put something off because you thought you were too old? Your sex, or marital status is not an obstacle. You are the one using it as an excuse. You are older now and you feel old because you have never renewed your mind and thought process, you have given in to your fears and you know that you had the chance when you were younger but you just did not take it. You have refused embracing change. Society’s dictates had their way.
Glenn Close,an American actress just received a Golden globe and she said this “…I’m thinking of my mum, who really sublimated herself to my father her whole life. And in her 80s she said to me,’ I feel I haven’t accomplished anything’. And it was so not right and I feel what I’ve learned through this whole experience is women,we’re nurturers-that’s what is expected of us. We have our children our husbands…but we have to find personal fulfillment.We have to follow our dreams.We have to say ,’ I can do that . And should be allowed to do that.”
In Cameroon we had old people over 90 that were riding bicycles and going to the farm and people will say that their children were probably not taking care of them. *LAUGHS* When your mind does not constantly renew itself, no matter how educated you get,or how much money you make , the different aspects in life will never be in tune with each other because of the internal conflicts you have everyday with yourself in your little cocoon of pretense and role playing.
My mother whom I love so much is never afraid to be who she is. She wears mini skirts and goes for meetings and after the meeting she becomes the topic for next meeting on dress codes, and guess what! She goes to the next meeting in a shorter annd tighter skirt. It is who she is and what she loves and if you are uncomfortable then that is your problem to deal it. She will not change for you. Why do old people frown? Someone said they are just angry for being old, angry at the young ones perhaps, gravity. It is not true, they are angry at themselves because they did not have the courage to do what you are doing when they were younger and they still do not have the courage to do it now!