I woke up that morning with nothing on my mind. Night shift is starting in a few hours and I need to get some sleep.
I had watched Black Panther, Avengers End game and a couple other movies that week just to see Chadwick Boseman.
If for a second I had known that he may have been taking his last breath, could it have been different?
I get to work and start my night. I decide to take a break a few hours later, the n95 mask was suffocating me. I sit down at the table in the staff break room, after rummaging the fridge for sandwiches. A post on whatsapp gets me…’the Black Panther is no more’ crying emoji.
Obviously I think its a joke. Every year people always trying to get clout with one actors death or another. I did not want to check Twitter because I was low-key afraid it might be true. Its not something that just pops out of the blue. I mean why would anyone want to make up a story that Chadwick Boseman passed?
Society expects a certain ‘standard’ of behaviour. Religion expects a different standard. People react differently to situations because of an already ‘defined expectation’ of conformity.
How free do we think we are? How honest can you truely be with yourself and others when you are constantly being restrained on either side? All your choices are judged, even the ones you did not make.
Obviously, rules are set to avoid chaos in the world. The human race is a chaotic sort, this fact is glaringly evident. Just as fast as they were made to mend a situation, so to can they be amended to cater to another problem.
How then do we know what is right or wrong?
Your Spirit. Infinite Intelligence. Chi. Mind. However you refer to the power that dwells within you that guides you. The Bible says, do not conform to the ways of the flesh. Living in the spirit is true freedom. You would obviously have to conform to the ways of the world, it’s almost impossible to escape. Living your truest and highest self is living in the spirit.
Once you have mastered your mind, there is no obstacle that you cannot overcome. There will be no limit to your leap. No boundary to your breakthrough. Unlearn the ways of the world. Reach out for new perspective everyday. It is difficult turning away from habits and attachments that have moulded you for years. For change to occur you need to molt…like a caterpillar.
The butterfly and the caterpillar are two different insects and lead different lives. Is it not hard to believe that one emerged from the other?
Every introduction to my blog post is an apology to those I serve and to myself.
The shame of not living up to your words and dreams haunts me each day that passes and I am silent…
So then I came to the conclusion that I feel pressured by this expectation of myself which when I don’t see puts me in a sort of depressive state.
What if I write a few words a day, just for someone out there? I always felt that I needed to write 500 or more words to be considered an efficient blogger. I started doubting myself because all my drafts did not make any sense to me. “Why should I publish this?”
As I listened to Eckhart Tolle and Oprah Winfrey on the power of living in the present, I realised tomorrow is not guaranteed. You are one heartbeat away from leaving this material world. Why do you put so many dreams off?
Now was your tomorrow, tomorrow is yesterday.
Who knew the corona virus was going to be a pandemic? 2020 was planned out for me, now I awaken to the fact that there are some things I cannot control and I will now develop other ways to handle the situation once such circumstances arise.
One thing you need to keep sane is your mind. Keep it free from the negativity which is looming all over from the media; what you see and hear and your daily experiences. Try to root yourself in prayer and exercise your positive spirit.
I will stop putting off my writing due to feelings of insufficiency or unacceptance. I will put out one word at a time, with hope that these tiny drops form an ocean.
Let us be Honest, going with the flow everyday is so easy and undemanding. A routine on the other hand feels like going against the grain,because of the amount of effort you have to put in to get the results that you want.
What is a HABIT? According to the Merriam Webster online dictionary it is defined as “an acquired mode of behaviour that has become nearly or completely involuntary”.Other definitions include “a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance”
If you note the word ‘acquired’ which means “gained by or as a result of effort or experience”, meaning habits are not hereditary. So my lack of commitment is not hereditary, my procrastination is not in borne, my laziness was not thrust upon me (Shakespeare talks about greatness).
Therefore, every habit is a conscious decision to be and do better. To develop means “to create or produce especially by deliberate effort over time” You cannot have the future you want unless you create it for yourself by developing habits that work towards attaining your goal.
1 You have to know what it is you want. Who you want to be. Define your result, so you develop your resistance.
2 You will need to put in effort. You cannot break a bad habit without the willingness and desire to be free from it. Everyday, choose to be the person you want to be.
3 It will take some time. Your mind and body need to be in sync and this happens when you know who you are, you have put in the effort and you are ready to be that person. You have been harboring this bad habit for a while, your body and mind will fight change, but with your developed resistance you will reap the results.
4 You will need to be constantly motivated and inspired. Try to create that kind of space for yourself,mentally and physically. Like watching movies or listening to audiobooks that move you to action. Surround yourself with the right people.
Hi everyone! My last post on ‘things that make no sense to me’ obviously received mixed responses. Well, since beliefs and foundations differ, you cannot make everyone see your point especially, when they do not want to give up their ways of thinking. Thank you to those who contributed to the content today.
Thinking marriage is an accomplishment. A reward for good character. Do not automatically assume yourself better than others because you are married.
Men who think that because they are married they are more responsible. Haha, society paints it so. Patriarchy is still deeply embedded in the society. It’s not ‘man’ up to get married, you are just ‘adulting’, it’s what you do when you get older, nothing special.
Why do you think your sin is better than another person’s sin? Sin is sin. If it’s considered wrong, it’s wrong. In court a wrongdoing is judged on a predetermined basis. But in God’s court rain falls on the good and evil alike. Don’t think you won’t get any rain because you haven’t “sinned”.
When you think that you are perfect because you’ve had just one sexual partner your whole life. How does that define perfection?
Lastly, is the fact that some people are still going from church to church looking for a miracle. They refuse to put in any effort in the way they want to change their lives. But they never fail to judge others,who unlike them had the courage to take a risk.
“THE SHALLOW END IS WHERE YOU DON’T DROWN, BUT THE DEEP END IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN SWIM” Ebony Obsidian
Planning. Almost everything revolves around it. A plan is a method for achieving an end. Simple. If you want to achieve something, you’ve got to plan for it. Some things come unplanned, but majority of those things are because we allowed it happen.If you set your life on ‘ maybe’ ‘I don’t know”Let’s wait and see’ then you’ll be prone to ‘accidents‘. Here are a few ways you can set long-term and short-term goals.
I cannot over emphasize this step. Write it down, your brain is unreliable. There are so many things going on in your life, you’ll need a place to always refresh and refocus. Assess where you are now(in your life) and where you would like to be in a few months or years. Write your dreams,desires,hopes,and goals. After writing, it becomes clearer what it is you want to achieve;and almost immediately you will see the path you need to take. A vision board is also a good way to start especially for more visual effects.
After writing, we do not just toss it aside. We take immediate action. I have been blogging very poorly for a year now, even after writing my blogging goals down. I have decided to be better. I have decided to write, even when I am not ‘inspired’. I have decided to write even if no one reads it. I have decided to write because it is what I love doing. Even with your passion or talent, you need to polish your skills. If you love cooking,makeup,singing,science,whatever it is do it everyday and enjoy yourself.When the opportunity comes to do it for people you will be so good at it people will wonder where you had been all this while. Keep working on your craft.
You cannot pour new wine into old wineskins. You cannot have a manifestation of your dreams if you have not changed how you look at it from the inside. Think positively and always try to see things from another persons point of view. Stop being judgemental and close minded. Read widely, never stop learning. You should know that change comes with rebellion, your old life will want you back but you need to keep fighting against it. You will have to sacrifice a lot, but at the end of the day, you’ll be just fine.
No matter how the year is going, whether as planned or not, just know you don’t control the tides. After you have done everything humanly possible, leave it to God. It’s easy to slip spiritually especially when things are a bit rough.Do not try to rush or push if your instincts tell you not to. Meditate.Slow down.Reduce the noise.
Finally, all I can say is be patient. Your time will come. Believe that. You have set your goals, await manifestation.
Happy New Year earthlings! 2020 is here! Who ever was waiting for the 1st to launch whatever project, it is here! You can’t buy time mate, it will come and go, so while you’re at it, make the best of it. We thank God for the gift of life and we remain positive for a prosperous year!
Is resolutions still a thing? I remember when my new year resolutions back in 2000 was ‘do not talk too much in class’. Or ‘have A’s in all my subjects.’ Back then if you didn’t have a long list of the things your mum said you shouldn’t do as new year resolutions then you did not live! My mum was expecting a brand new daughter every year! She realised that the who is different from the what. I’ll be in class trying to be who I’m not! Every year my classmates had a new attitude for one month then went back to their old selves. Impression mattered then! Not that it doesn’t matter now, but I don’t care what you think.
Resolutions over the years have happened at any time during the year. The new year is just another calendar to tear. Resolutions like “Stay away from your phone for 2 seconds” and “don’t watch tv all weekend” are the new bad habits. “Spend less” “Exercise more” “Eat healthier”.The world is changing and so are the people, and their mentalities.
As you grow older and your circumstances change, your way of thinking should change too. How will you make your life better? Internal and external changes. Self-development in all areas of your life. A constant assessment of your choices,habits,strengths and weaknesses. How will you improve the lives of others?
Thinking men have two brains and when one is on the other is off. By brains they mean their penis and their regular brain.(Definitely can’t be friends with such a man)
Thinking married people are not supposed to take advice from single people. (But think they are in the best place to give.)
Thinking you/people are limited to a certain way of life because you are a mother or father. (But are raising children to be free.)
Thinking virginity equals character.(So you will shame the good natured sexually active boy/girl and tolerate the nagging virgin. We definitively got our priorities mixed up)
Thinking 40 is too old to have children.(but not too old to start a career)
Thinking that everything your parents taught you is unchangeable.(knowing they lived in a different time)
Thinking all single or childless people are not happy, and are unmistakably jealous of married people.(I can’t laugh enough at this)
Thinking whatever you do ;is right and what you don’t do is wrong so you feel in a place to condemn it.( just do you and keep quiet)
Thinking people owe you something.(You cannot force what is voluntary)
Thinking the male gender is the superior gender and all feminists are just trying to seek attention. (Wow)when people do not know what to do with their lives and are waiting for dictation from others this is how stupid they get.
Thank you for reading and hoping to see you again on the next episode of “things that don’t make sense to me.”
When the word “sex” is mentioned anywhere, public or private there is always a certain unease at first.I do not know whether it is the act itself that is seen as disgusting or the disgusting pictures painted by thousands of people told through generations. Well, we all know what sex is then :the penetration of… into bla bla bla but sex now is more than just penetration and includes all forms of physical intimacy between two people and must not necessarily be male or female. Sex is like all our other basic necessities like food and water and needs to be fulfilled but unlike food and water you can live without it.So then why do we need sex in relationships? Is it to really strengthen the bond? For pleasure? Procreation? To fill a need like thirst or hunger? To solve a problem?
The last question is why we are here. As long as i have been friends with Evelyn, when we have issues we try to talk it out and come to an agreement knowing our boundaries and if it is too bad we probably will not call each other for a while, but we make sure that we put the problem on the table so it can be solved. It obviously is different with someone you have sex with. It seems sex makes everything seem not too serious. I know there are many ladies out there who are sick of their partners solving problems through sex. I mean, like the problem becomes non-existent once they have ejaculated.*sad*.This ends up classifying men especially as selfish and insensate. You wonder why Lady Ponce sings “l’homme le ventre est le bas-ventre” meaning food and sex is all he requires. This mentality is what makes some men feel like demi-gods and women feel like servants. We heard of the sex for grades BBC eye uncovered in some universities in Africa.https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-49971067.How does exchanging sex for a pass mark solve the problem? On the other hand some ladies use sex too when they do not want to verbally apologise for a wrong or do not want to work hard and they want someone to do everything for them. We never know what goes on behind closed doors and how much you resisted before finally giving in because you were horny anyway and went against all you have been fighting for. That my dear is exactly how most battles are lost. It will become a pattern in the long run because they will realize your weakness and constantly use it against you until you have nothing left.
Let no man come on here and tell me about the number of brains a man has, That is so stupid and makes you the man totally undesirable.Openly admitting your lack of self-control does not do good to your reputation.You will hear stories about one brain completely shutting down when the other is functional.My ears have heard!!! That must be why women are complaining about an unfulfilling sex life because they are having sex with brainless men! This is another day’s topic.
Like Alcohol, sex gets you high and low. A vicious cycle because you always want to stay in the high. The passion can be undoubtedly mistaken for frivolous emotions and when you dwell on that farce too long you enter into a state of daydreaming. Daydreaming blurs your reality. Sex therefore douses the flame but not the fire. THE PROBLEM WILL NOT GO AWAY! There has been no confrontation,acknowledgment or resolution.Almost similar to buying gifts as an apology.Some people understand it that way and do not mind non-verbal ways of communication, but in the long run the essence of the relationship diminishes because real verbal communication will be lost. Even God does not want a gift without proper reconciliation. matthew 5:23.All through the bible I think sex has caused more problems than actually solving any no wonder it is met with such unease.When the problem has not even been acknowledged,sex becomes distasteful and draws both partners apart once the low sets in because of the weight of pain or disappointment they are carrying against the other. After sex even in a marriage you will feel used. Think about it, how many problems has sex actually solved in your relationship? Were you having sex in hopes that the problem will just disappear? How did you feel once the passion had dissipated to see the problem still staring at you in the face? Do you use sex as a tool to get what you want especially like trying to win back affection? Just know whatever happens that was not properly addressed and you took the sex shortcut, the effects are short-term.
I am disappointed in myself. The title contradicts my reality, the fact that I have not typed a word for over a month is a depiction of how we let important things slide.
Stay committed i preach, irresponsibility I eat. Start a project, work hard, make a plan and stick with it till the end. *sighs* This is where the negative starts coming in and talking to you. STOP RIGHT THERE! Do not let that negative voice linger in your head any longer than it already has. You are a child of God. God hates the fact that I am lazying around on the talent He gave me to develop, how then will He bless me?
You already know what you have to do, and it involves sacrificing trivial things such as sleep,food and entertainment…sometimes harder things to let go of that truly serve no purpose to you,in order that you dedicate yourself to yourself.
If I choose to make a commitment now that I will write everyday, who will hold me accountable if I don’t? ME. You need to be your own judiciary, executive,and legislative committee. Checking and balancing whatever comes in with whatever goes out. It is important that you know who you are, I cannot stress this enough. It’s a continuous change, but you should be able to keep track of the old you and the new you.
Many women stay pregnant for 9 months because they have no choice. If it were 6 months or 1 year, you will adhere because it is a natural phenomenon. Do something supernatural, stick to a project for longer than 9 months where you have a choice to flee after you fall, or stick to it and succeed.
Stay committed to building your identity so much so that people won’t have to recognize you through works of another. As Emma Ugolee said in his book A 100 random light bulbs “Establishing individuality is one of the biggest favours you can do for yourself in this lifetime.”
Stay committed to standing out. Who said it’s no fun running alone? It is important to have people who help you along the way but do not cling to these temporal relationships just because you need someone to talk to. The only permanent and primary relationship you have and need is with God and yourself.