“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ― Albert Einstein
I am quite sure most of us have used a taxi at least once in our lives. You know a taxi,the car that does not take you somewhere for free.There are some rides that you love and others that you don’t, like if there was a way to jump out of the car before ‘pa koki‘ comes in and squeezes you to death you would but you need to get home. Or ‘mami cassava’ comes in all sweaty and smears it all over your arm(you do not know why you wore a sleeveless blouse that day.)
The invention of the mobile taxi came with the smart technology and since people do not carry cash anymore they figured people won’t be able to pay taxi drivers, and switched to mobile payments.In Cameroon,you could stand on the road for years,and all taxis approaching are not going your direction.That sucks.With uber or lyft,you can call an available taxi(and any type you want too!)to where you are.It is obviously very expensive but isn’t that the price for smartness?
It is for countries that have internet services, not MTN,ORANGE nor CAMTEL in Cameroon where you cannot even watch a video on whatsapp because it takes ages to download, or it keeps reconnecting calls or your data just expires right before your eyes, when you are sure you had enough data.Plus when Cameroon will have readable GPS and available cars in good condition,maybe then but for now who needs uber in Cameroon when we have “okada” our fancy name for motorcycles, to take you to your doorstep no matter how rugged the road is? A motorcycle that will take you to all the corners the taxi refused going no matter the weather? *giggles.
Unforunately, I have no female stories from Cameroon because the whole transportation industry was male dominated, I tell you from the car wash,to the mechanics to the drivers to the CEO’s were all men.Thank goodness things are changing now and women are becoming more active in the transport business,so you definitely will hear stories about that.On Twitter however I see incredible stories about women driving “keke” and taxis,motorcycles and trucks for a living. More courage to women doing jobs that were labeled “only for men.”
I am sure most women have been sexually targeted in taxis.Touched,spoken to,taken somewhere unconsented to.There are so many stories to tell and I would love if you could share your stories with me in the comment section!
I was standing outside the bonamoussadi council office, Douala when it started drizzling,not wanting to get wet I quickly jumped into the next available taxi inattentive to the state of the car.Oddly when I was about to get in, a man stepped out;one of the passengers obviously telling me to go in since he will be alighting before me and wouldnt want to cause me any inconvenience.Well let’s be clear here “DO NOT EVER DO THAT!” especially if there is another man on the other side meaning you will be squashed. If they insist,take another ride,better get soaked in rain than harmed.I took the risk and went it,there was another man in the front seat ,both of us at the back plus the driver.Conversation started like this (translating to English from french).
Driver: Goodevening Madam. i just saved you from a serious soak!
Me(fake smiling because his taxi smelled so musty i could not breathe,plus the Douala heat)Yeah you did.
It seems they were actually in the middle of a conversation and i just got dragged into it when one of the men asked me a question.
Front seat man:All these “panthers” out here sucking men dry, are you one of them my beautiful girl?
Ok people at this point I just wanted to get home and did not want to engage with illiterates whose only interest is codswallop.(panthers means sugarbaby or any young lady)I did not respond and just kept looking out the window slightly smiling to show that I was not completely ignoring them.
Back seat man:”Why aren’t you answering? Or are we not your type?”Then he started talking to the men in the front seat “Don’t mind these girls,they always want us to beg or cajole them.We have women begging us now.”
LOL, I do not know why men think women are always playing hard to get when they do not want to talk to them.Its the past mentality, many men always persisted and women gave in.By the way the conversation in the taxi quickly went south.
Front seat man:”Most of the younger ones do not even take care of their bodies the way the older ones do.I had sex with a 40 year old and she was so good.Her vagina was smooth and smell free with a smooth body.Not like some young ones that have body odour and strong vaginal odours.”Then he turned to me “You better take care of yourself too.”
Imagine being in a taxi with three older men talking about women and their privates.I quickly alighted before my destination because your girl could not obviously spend her energy trying to explain to these over 45year old men that their opinions are not important.
In most African countries and NON-african countries …i honestly do not want to say all.Women are viewed as “the rib”not as complete human beings made like men.They are second-class,unbelonging perishables.Even women perpetuate this story,about how you have no name or nation until you get married.So your body and your whole life has no use,because when you will have kids you will need to sacrifice your lasr drop of blood to raise them.
In effect, always becareful when entering a taxi.If it does not feel right,please do not enter, or alight once you feel uncomfortable. If you are already in, you can text the name and car number of the taxi to a friends.You can also place a call to someone the entire journey to avoid you getting into useless conversations. Stay Safe.
Zahar was pacing the hospital corridor, impatiently waiting for the doctor.She had just gotten terminated from her probation and it was not even 90 days yet.She had barely worked for 14 days when she was unfairly discharged.
That was the least of her problems. At least for now.
Malik had outdone himself this time.She had already called the police and the evidence in the hospital better match her accusations.The relationship was over,so much for staying for the kids.She was still their mother and father anyway, what difference did it make? Shut the public, she was 32 and did not need someone still telling her what to do She had sacrificed a lot for others and no one seemed to give up anything for her.
Oh Lord, please keep him alive.
“For Ethan” the nurse called out. Zahar immediately rushed to the office. Her heart was racing faster than Usain Bolts’ after a race,she did not want to hear it but she needed to. “I am Ethans’ mother.” She immediately saw it, the flash of sorrow in the nurses’eyes. Her son was dead.
How do you plead?
Her life couldn’t be getting any worse.
“What are you talking about? You have all the evidence you need, what more do you want?”
“We need irrefutable proof Zahar. I know how you feel, but you must be patient” The lawyer said,her voice almost a whisper as they left the tension-filled courtroom.She put her hand on zahar’s shoulder and gently squeezed it reassuringly, “He will pay”, she said with a trace of anger through her clenched teeth.
Amanda did NOT want to leave Zahar standing there as torn as she was, maybe she should ask her if she would like to go home with her. Or maybe not, she is a client and that’s it,you do not sympathize with your clients,law school taught her that.Besides she has a lot to do to make sure that man goes behind bars.
Zahar walked back home.Just when she thought she was going to be able to afford a car, the world came crashing. Just when she knew it was getting better because God had finally noticed her, everything slips through her fingers as if she is allergic to goodluck.They said do not ask God any questions,so she won’t. She needed to increase the security around herself and her home now,as soon as she could afford it, Laaya will need it.
He had to act fast
“Thank you for getting me out of there, baby”The voice on the other end of the line made a small sound of acknowledgment. “We should not be on the phone too long, they might start tapping into it, proceed with the plan.” the voice continued swiftly but precisely. A beep was heard and he put the phone away. He slowly made his way to the makeshift kitchen looking around for a bite. There was a moulding piece of sandwich on the stovetop,he picked it up wrinkling his nose while catching a whiff of the musty odor.His stomach rumbled and he could not order food online because it was already late, and he had no food anywhere.He looked at the sandwich , picked it up unwillingly and closed hs eyes as he took a bite.He thought of a time when he’ll be free on a beach sipping cocktails with his lover.
Laaya did not understand why her mum was home.”Aren’t you working today mama?” Zahar scratched her head as if looking for a suitable answer for a six year old. “Mama is on holiday.” Thats literally all she could come up with and that should be enough for an inquisitive child such as Laaya. It was already tough having to explain what happened to Ethan and then now? “But we are still in school!” ” Honey your school program and my work program are not the same thing. Finish up your cereal,you need to get to school” She was already late, plus she did not have a car. Well, she used to borrow the neighbours car, but she had not refilled the tank last time she used it, so she was ashamed to ask again.”Come on Laaya, we do not have a car today, you better hurry up.” Laaya looked at her mother with wide eyes “No car?How will I get to school?” “Walk baby, thats what those legs are for.Now get up lets go.” She needed a job, she had already applied to 101 different companies in the last few days and no word from anyone.She remained positive and expectant.
Mr.Everard watched the two ladies from a slightly open curtain in his living room.He had always watched them from the moment she moved in to the apartment with that weird looking fellow. He has not seen him nor her son in a few days now,he wondered what happened to them.He felt sorry for Zahar,she was so hardworking he does not know why she was living with that weirdo,not that he wanted her in anyway for himself.He wanted to help her,like now,he could have given her a ride despite her not refilling his tank last time.The little girl hopping away with her little unicorn backpack and pink sneakers,she was adorable.He watched them long enough to see the figure in a hooded jacket creep right out of the corner and follow them.
Zahar was drifting in and out of consiousness.Her daughters screams kept waking her up,she felt helpless and hopeless.She tried to move but her limbs were tied and she was blindfolded too.”Laaya! Laaya! where are you?Are you alright?Talk to me baby!” Tears were running down her cheeks when she heard no sound,”If you have hurt my daughter you will not get away with this! Why do you blindfold me,show yourself if you are not afraid!” The abducter spoke, but the voice was muffled so she could not make out if it was a male or a female.”I will torture you till death,and your daughter is probably dead because I fucked her to a pulp.” Zahar could not believe what she had just heard,her heart sank,her whole life was a joke.”You are a pathetic moron and you will rot right here on earth.” A distinct wave of willpower to fight possessed her and she sat still waiting for the killer. She heard a shuffling of feet and tried to sit as still as possible as the person neared her she bit a gloved hand as hard as she could,she suspected they wanted to inject her with something lethal. A knock to her head blackened her out as the last thing she heard were police sirens.
“Where is my daughter?” She thought she was dreaming, oh my God her baby Laaya,why God,my little girl.”Calm down Ms, she is fine and in recovery.” “I need to see her.” “Of course you will once you can feel your legs” What is this nurse talking about ,Zahar thought to herself.She tried to get up and something was wrong. “What’s happening?” Panic had set in, fear, she almost immediately broke into a sweat,her eyes filling up with tears. “Do not worry we are working on getting your muscles functional again.In your semi-consiousness it seemed a poison was injected into your spine,Thank goodness it did not affect your brain.With constant physiotherapy,I believe you will get back on your feet again.In the meantime,we will bring your daughter to you.”
The judge adjourned the case again.
Mr.Everard watched her wheeling out of the courtroom in anger,her lawyer following her closely.He did not understand why the lawyer was not exactly trying to fight for her client when she had all the proof.Her recent attack could have been more than enough motive. The only good thing they did though was detain that weirdo.He walked out of the courtroom into the afternoon sunshine,he let it warm his face a little before heading along.
“We are building this Zahar.Can you not see that he has been detained finally? That is a step?” “Who bailed him out in the first place?He does not have that kind of money for bail.” Amanda mouth twisted into a forced smile “That has nothing to do with us.We need to focus on proving his guilt.Have the forensic experts come up with anything yet?” Zahar shook her head, her mind in a million places.She did bite the killer pretty hard and is sure she left a mark,but it was through gloves so the forensic experts could get no blood or anything.They did not check Maliks’ wrist,maybe she should suggest it. She just did not want to believe that he is the one who attacked them and raped her daughter.Oh my God,Zahar,why are you with this psycho,your value is more than that,you do not need anyone to make you feel like you are worth something to someone.What has motherhood reduced you too?Being a parent was not supposed to make you a slave to someone else because you are trying to raise your kids in a two-parent environment.WHO ARE YOU?
She was having a bad day at work. She was usually discriminated upon and always never understood.Her coworkers lied against her and she could not defend herself.The die had been cast,nobody believed her.She always felt like the rejected stone-The girl at school who could not fit in,the odd co-worker.Her manager called her and told her to go home, that is the end.She just decided to walk home so she could think,because she was tired with all that was going on in her life.She thought of her kids, she smiled, it quickly faded away when she thought of her partner.Malik. She does not know how she got pregnant for him a second time.She was probably depressed or totally delusional,because that is the only way she could have actually had sex with that moron.She still feels she was raped because they have not had sex ever since she found out she was pregnant.She did want to have an abortion,but her daughter was already 5 and she just wanted another kid.She remembered the abortion she had before Laaya,that was the best decision she had made.She had no money,no roof over her head and no family.She polished herself years later before meeting this wolf in sheeps clothing called Malik.Zahar was so lost in thought she did not even realise she had already gotten home. Oh that was a short one hour walk,she thought disappointingly.
Her four month old was crying and she wondered why.The door was open, she slowly walked in “Malik?” No one responded, she went over to the crib and picked up her baby.He screamed so loud she had to drop him immediately.Her heart started beating uncontrollably,he had no fever why was he screaming. He kept on making noises like he was in discomfort.She noticed he was not moving and she immediately called the hospital. She called the school, that she will be late picking up her daughter because she just had an emergency.Before she left, she went through the closet and realised that some of Maliks’ stuff were gone. ‘the son of a bitch’ she cursed.
“For Ethan”,the nurse called out.It had been over four hours and she was tired and afraid.The doctor came out “I’m sorry Ma’am,all his limbs were completely fractured,and from the xrays we can assert that it was intentional.We have already called the attention of the police to the case and we have all the evidence of all the fractures.His ankles,his knees, his wrists and his elbows. You can come and see him now, we sill start the bone reconstruction process immediately you will just need to complete all the paperwork” Zahar held her tears before entering the intensive care unit to see her little boy.He was bandaged all over and seemed asleep.The doctor noticed her apprehension and quickly took her hands in his “He is fine.We are helping him ease the pain with medication and he is getting fed through other means.He is safe.Just make sure that whoever did this does not get away with it.”
Save my children God, that is all I ask.
The defense stood up and walked over to the side of the defendant giving them a contemptous look before going on to say “My client Malik is as innocent as he looks.A good father and a loving partner.These false allegations laid against him are all in a bid to separate from him.She lost her job,your Honor,came home with all that anger and dismembered her 4month old son who is now receiving treatment at the St Mary’s Health Centre.All the exhibits were already tendered,we can show the court one more time on the screen.”
Zahar clenched the wheelchair in anger as she watched pictures of her bandaged son on the screen.How can this asshole try to accuse her? He had been trying to turn it around from the beginning of he trial,trying to make her look like the monster and Amanda was not defending her or trying to prove it was Malik. She needed a miracle.
Your Honor, we have a witness.
Was this the light of God shining on her? Had God heard her prayer? A witness for the plaintiff?Who was it? She put her hands together waiting as the person got into the witness stand and swore the oath.When the view was clear,Zahar could not believe her eyes.
“From your witness statement,you say you saw the defendant leaving the building right before his partner came in from work on that evening.” the defense began with the cross-examination.The witness nodded. Amanda shifted a little uncomfortably in her seat, Zahar asked her if she was ok and she said she was fine and she is happy this witness came at the right moment. When the witness mentioned that he is the one who called the police when Zahar and her daughter were attacked after he had followed them to see where they were taken to and that it was Malik who fracture the childs limbs, raped his daughter and partially paralysed Zahar’s legs, Malik got up from his seat and started scraeming at the top of his lungs. “He is lying, I did ot do any of this.I love my kids and my partner and would never hurt them.He is just a neighbor that has been wanting to sleep with her.”
Mr.Everard knew that coming here to testify will not be easy, but he loved Zahar and her kids and he could not let that criminal get away with it.Considering that this was the last trial, then the verdict he picked up his bag and all the evidence he had and walked up to the courtroom. He watched both of them with disgust,they will not get away with this, he had pictures of some of their meetings which he tendered in and as the cross-examination continued he watched the accused and his accomplice sweat in fear.Horror was plastered all over Zahar’s face.
“Amanda,you will have to be taken into custody.The proof we have here against you is overwhelming. You bailed the defendant out anonymously,but it was traced.You have been secretly visiting the defendant, and even while he was with his partner you were his lover.You have beenfalsely representing his partner in the hope of setting him free so both of you can elope together.Do you deny any of these allegations?” The judge asked her. She stood there not saying a word,Zahara banged the table,tears streaming down her eyes,a lump in her throat “How could you Amanda?My children?If you wanted the bastard why did you not just take him,or kill me and leave my children out of this?”
“Order!Order in court!” The whole crowd was chattering, the unexpected revelations shocked everyone.There was silence in a few seconds then the judge spoke.”The circumstances of the case have obviously changed and regarding the circumstances of the plaintiff I will pass my verdict.”
It had been a tough year for them,but a better year considering that Zahar had more autonomy over her legs now, and Ethan was getting better.The doctor said he will need another year to gain full control of his limbs. Laaya on the other hand was still traumatised and refused talking for over 9months. The government lent Zahar a hand by giving her housing and a job.She saw Mr.Everard everyday because he was her angel, Malik will spend the rest of his life in prison,she told the judge not to put him on death row.She wanted both of them to stay alive and suffer.God came through for her and she was so grateful.She kissed her kids goodnight, turned the lights out and went into the living room. She picked up the newspaper with the headlines “PLAINTIFF’S LAWYER FOUND TO BE DEFENDANT’S LOVER, EXPOSED BY WITNESS NEIGHBOR.” She put it down and smiled.
Don’t we all wish we had the fountain of youth to stay forever young? You cannot evade maturing, but you can accept it, be prepared for it, and enjoy the process. As many say age is just a number, it’s not a physical conclusion but more of an external manifestation of the internal demonstration. Everyone matures at different rates and its up to you to figure yours out and learn how to tweak it in your favour.
If you realise you wrinkle more in certain areas, or you have hyperpigmentation or weight gain or whatever differences you start noticing, you will need to start acting quickly. Change your diet, incorporate more exercise, use creams and essential oils, get a spa day often . Just generally put more effort into body care. Since I am here to actually talk about makeup, I will not dwell on that…do not say I didn’t mention skin care!
Don’t we all want that makeupnomakeup look that kids and little bunnies have? Awww. If Lawrence from the marketing department doesn’t have to ask you why you look tired today, or Suzy from human resource is worried about your “sad look”. Jeez guys I AM FINE!!! So because of that I have found ways to keep your eyes and face always bright without necessarily having to layer tons of product. After all, as you age your skin does not like excess product because of the natural lines (called wrinkles) forming on your face which tend to crease a lot.
TIP #1 Do not apply too much product to your face. Whether its primer, or foundation or concealer or face creams. A little goes a long way to make it work especially if you are blending correctly.
TIP #2 Color correction saves lives. Not being dramatic or anything, but have you ever felt you looked funny after applying makeup? Or after oxidising the color does not seem quite right? Honey you were not sold the wrong shade, the discoloration on that part of your body needed an eraser. Color correcting creams in orange,red,blue,green,purple,peach,white etc will help blend the underlying color with the color of the foundation so it does not come off as grey, or black. Oh and you would not need to hide your face either.
TIP #3 Do not bake! I love cakes and everything but that stays in the oven! I do not extend baking to my face, especially now that I am growing older. Your under eyes are already drying out slowly, you do not need powder casserole to make it any dryer. Less is always more. Just use enough setting powder and brush off the excess. Adding powder on your face through out the day to blot out shine is acceptable, but just don’t let it sit there for hours.
TIP #4 Use concealer only under your eyes. Misunderstanding from the get go. You can use it on your whole face if you like, but to avoid too much product buildup, do not spread the foundation under your eyes then apply concealer on top of it. let your foundation stop right on your cheeks and use just color corrector and concealers all the way. Thank you Wayne Goss for this tip. Also the concealer needs to be at least a shade or two lighter, for brighter, non-sleep-deprived eyes.
TIP #5 Even if you do not want to wear makeup, wear some lip gloss or lipstick. And some mascara. You cannot go wrong by adding eyeliner or a false eyelash. Put some earrings on , comb your hair and pout your lips!
TIP #6 Avoid too light eyeshadows. Well in your 40s and 50s you start experiencing a reduction of elasticity around your eyelids and some droopiness. Darker eyeshadows conceal better and alter your eye shape more especially when you properly deepen the crease. Lighter eyeshadows tend to reveal a lot more droopiness and you will probably look older instead of youthful. Just like a black dress draws light away from you generally altering your figure, the same way dark colors on your eyes alter their shape.
TIP #7 Hair Counts! Well whether you want a mane or not, always make sure you are doing your hair to flatter your features. Whatever color you use should always be in your favour.
TIP #8 As long as you can wear clothes, wear them. Makeup is not only about applying color to the face, it’s about what dress you are wearing, what hair do as these all supplement the entire look. When you wear clothes that do not fit your frame, you look older than you are and even more tired. Always dress smart and bright, if the focus is not on your makeup, wear a flattering dress. This is for men too. Always try to appear neat.
TIP #9 SMILE . It just doesn’t hurt. Older people are generally thought to look sad (do not ask me questions). As you age and your features begin to droop, that is generally the result, but with a smile you get a constant ” face lift”. So why not do it. NOW.
Lets face it, there are times and days when you just want to lazy about doing nothing. That is what most people call boredom. They will tell you they have watched all the movies and series available and they so not know what else to do with their time. Really? Like really? As an advocate of the simple life , we should stop complicating every little thing just because we are not willing to try it, for reasons such as fear or pride or just outright unwillingness to unlearn anything. You choose not to take interest in other activities because you feel you do not directly benefit from them. .How to STOP Procrastinating , read till the end so you will not need to worry about your free time!
READING. yes. Anything. Literally. You must always learn something new from any book, be it fiction,inspirational, nonfiction,historical,romance, autobiographies or even a children’s book. You can visit the library and read there if your house is too noisy and besides you will have a wide collection to choose from. Reading takes you to so many different places, broadens your imagination and thoughts and improves your vocabulary. Plus it usually puts me to sleep at night especially when i am having a hard time falling asleep. Read more by clicking on this link why reading is important
WRITING. Obviously. You don’t have the skill for just copying and pasting notes in class or during exams do you? Write down what your day was like, the highs and lows. A few things you would change if you could. A bucket list. Anything. tips on writing a diary.
TRY OUT A NEW RECIPE. My Uncle can go from Cameroon to Chinese real fast! Save some money, and try the dish out at home by following the recipe and why not customizing it to suit your taste perfectly. My Dad cooked for us so much that my first meal of hot pot potatoes he threw into the farm. It was that bad he could not even give it to the dogs. smh. But I have come far, and I don’t mind my first try being tasteless, I will learn and improve. I have tried Lasagna and oven roasted a full turkey. Well , my mum helped. Try with a small amount first , then as you get better you can increase the quantity. recipes afrocaribbeanrecipes
GET BETTER AT ONE OF YOUR HOBBIES. Not watching television. Hobbies like swimming, cycling, painting, drawing, dancing. Try getting better at it, you love it does not mean you are good at it. Learn in details the structure of your passions and strive to excel in it. So many people out here saying they love doing this or that , and you ask them how many times they have actually done it, or any proof that they actually invest any time or money in said venture and the result is always zero. Do not be one of them.
PLAY WORD GAMES OR PUZZLES. There are all sorts of mathematical and english game apps now. You can buy yourself crossword puzzles and you will amazed how ignorant you are!Video games are definitely addicting! game apps to try.
CALL A FRIEND, VISIT A RELATIVE OR WINDOW SHOP, Lol yeah it’s not that serious. Make sure when window shopping you do not have any money, or you might be tempted to spend on what you do not actually need. Works of mercy too are important, visiting the orphanage or just being nice to an older person. Call your friend up, go hang out with them and de-stress. Go babysit a friends baby and give the parents a break, kids are such a blessing but can also be backbreaking. Get out of the house by all means, look at the sky, touch the grass, walk barefoot. You will dead longer.
WATCH A DOCUMENTARY. One of those days you feel like listening to an audiobook download audiobooks instead of reading, or watching shaka zulu and learning about animals you never knew existed! That is so much fun. Knowing how your country emerged to what it is today. Cameroon on the other hand will need to have its history rewritten.
TRY LEARNING A NEW LANGUAGE. English,French,Spanish, Chinese. Well i am definitely not learning chinese but do not let me discourage you, “nǐ hǎo” is probably all my brain can take. While learning a new language you learn the cultures of the people and it will astound you the similarities we all share. Did you know in Spain most households buy fresh bread every day. Traditionally, they are long baguettes called barras or pistolas. Bread is present (and required) at almost every meal. Just like in Cameroon, some people have taken bread and tea to a whole new level.
EXERCISE. Why do people hate exercise? The voluntary action of moving your limbs is so dismal. After childhood the thought of playing is farfetched, how will we when we have all become so heavy and view everything manual as a chore. Exercise is a form of de-stressing, a form of fun, health improvement, and your body looks better. So why not do it? By the time many of us get to 40, we experience pain on all our joints because of lack of exercise. Just like you exercise your body, exercise your brain, read, write, solve math. You can start with at home stretches and workout like this workout.
SEX. Talking about exercise, sex is a good sport. Please forget the quickies and after 5 minutes its over types. I am talking about the process of sex, from the excitement stages all through resolution. From most stories, females usually end at the plateau stage, never quite fully attaining orgasm, which is why masturbation is good. Betty Dodson still has much to say on this in her BLOG and I cannot help but agree with her that we do not even know our own bodies, therefore we do not know how to touch it. No one can give you an orgasm. This is diversion , i am here preaching instead of staying focused on the matter at hand. During your free time, have sex, good sex, so you can rest as it does improve your sleep, if it was good.
READ THE BIBLE, PRAY, AND, OR MEDITATE. Improving your spiritual life means lifting burdens and being aware of the greater powers at work in your life and in the world. It means remaining positive that everyday will be better because you know God sits on the throne. Meditation is another form of intense prayer, but it involves clearing your mind of everything, and just being in the now. Cancelling out all the noise, which is so difficult in this day and age of technology where something is always on. But how to meditate is all a matter of practice. Praying, meditation, bible study, are all a means of connecting to our higher self and thus the Almighty.
ORGANISE YOUR PHONE. Seems easy, but girlfriend has more than a 100,000 photos in her phone and over 10,000 videos and she has not watched or viewed up to a quarter of them, and it is unlikely she will because they will keep adding. Take your time, go through your file manager and delete all those whatsapp pictures and videos. Go through your camera and delete pictures that you took that are not as nice as others and back the rest up in the cloud. Your phone is crowded that is why it is malfunctioning. Your brain is crowded that is why it is malfunctioning. Clean it! You do not actually need the pictures as much as you think you do. Clear you chats , your messages, your phone call log, your voicemail. Go to Facebook and instagram and twitter and all that and delete old posts, especially those that do not support your current viewpoint. Delete useless apps and while you are looking at contacts you have not contacted in a long time be sure to try doing just that. Contacting them. Your yahoo or Gmail accounts are probably overflowing, clear those out too. What the heck, just reset the damn phone!
REDECORATE. After organising your phone, your home needs some renovation too. These apps can help you sell old stuff online while you redecorate. Your house is your little sanctuary, always strive to make it as comfortable as possible. Put up new decor, or if you cannot afford it, rearrange existing decor. Just create a PINTEREST account and you can look up hundreds of designs, DIY and much more! Throw out old stuff, there is no need piling up all those things you hold on to , probably because of sentiments. Read my previous blog post on HOW “MATERIALISTIC” ARE YOU?
PLAN SOMETHING. Why are you afraid of taking risks? Why do you feel you will not be able to accomplish something just at the mere thought of it? Why do you cancel your dreams out so fast before they can think of realising themselves? Plan something big this time. A trip…start saving towards it, start focusing all your energy on how much fun you will have. A surprise party for your mother or your friend, imagine how happy they will be! A new field of study, or specialising further in your area of expertise. Visiting the zoo perhaps? Write a bucket list,try visualizing and writing down how you plan to accomplish each task and face it fearlessly. Will Smith is now doing everything he had on his bucket list,( crazy, scary things though) just so you know life is short and time is not your friend.
SPLURGE ON YOURSELF. Is it a waste of money to have a spa day? Is it a waste of time to just soak all day and listen to music? Body, mind and soul needs rejuvenation , and how else do you relax and unwind if you do not devote time and space to yourself? If you have a full house, wake up before everyone, make a cup of tea and just enjoy the sunrise. Get a pedicure or an acupuncture. Do some facials.Go on a date…with yourself. Go somewhere fancy, dress up and eat some crazy stuff. Go to that hotel and spend a soothing weekend. Your memories will always thank you for that. As generous as you are to others be as generous to yourself.
TRY SOMETHING NEW. Fear will definitely get the better of us if we do not learn how to overcome it. You cannot be lukewarm , you are either hot or cold, in or out…no sitting on the fence. Wear that dress that is way out of your comfort zone, Try on different lipsticks or nail varnish.Fear of heights? Take a flight, or do indoor skydiving. Every chance you get to try something new, do not miss it or you will always end up telling people the story of “I ALMOST”. I swear I could have told you the story of almost but seeing that it was almost finished but unfinished, i rest my case.
I am not exactly #teamsmoothfacenopimples but at least I am blessed with a normal canvas. I am a self-taught makeup artist and I am slowly growing and learning. What is makeup to you? Do you think it is just a means of ‘concealing spots’ or a means of ‘uncovering beauty’?
just like a book is nothing until you write in it, a face is nothing until you brighten it.
So if we could all just come off the ” you look better without any makeup” train and choose to do makeup because we love it and we love the way we look in it when we play with all the colors nature has to offer. Why do you do your hair? Why do you wash and moisturise your skin? Why do you wear beautiful clean clothes? Why do you use perfume and deodorant?
While you are answering the above questions I will be talking about a few beforehand preparations for your face before you apply makeup, in order to acquire a flawless and lasting look. Just like a painter preps his canvas before drawing, mixes his paints and all, is the same way you need to do for your face. No matter how naturally smooth your face is, you will need to prepare it prior to the makeup application. Failing to plan is planning to fail. I always start thinking of the kind of look i want to wear the night before, always have a visualization of the look you want to achieve to be able to actually follow through with all the steps till you get it.
The night before, it is very important to cleanse your face using any face wash. If you are acne prone you can use one containing salicylic acid. After properly washing your face , go on to use a face scrub. I use Sivoderm products a lot and they helped me get rid of my acne. The scrub will get rid of dead cells thereby guaranteeing a smooth finish. Many people forget to exfoliate their lips. Your lips peel off alot more because they are so exposed all the time to the weather. Getting your lipstick on without cracks will require crack free lips(crack free). Try the simple toothbrush hack, that is scrub is with your toothbrush and the apply honey and sugar and scrub that out using your fingers. Then wash it off completely and apply any lip balm of your choice.
Sometimes after this step I use a face mask mostly for moisture, because it is no good applying makeup to a dry face. Once you are done, rinsing off and patting your face dry you can then apply your face cream and head off for bed.
Beauty sleep, anyone? You will wake up with baby smooth skin the next morning and your foundation will be so happy sitting on top of you. At this point all you need to do is rinse your face, with no soap. Then use a cold eye gel mask(after leaving in the freezer for 60 seconds) or you can wrap an iceblock in a towel and rub it on your face. This is to reduce puffiness under your eyes and on your face and also to freshen and wake it up. Literally.
The lips are that stubborn though, I always need to still brush them with my toothbrush in the morning before putting on lipstick. I do not know if it is age but when i was a teenager my lips could thrive on my saliva alone, but now, they cannot even survive on vaseline. Sigh.
Makeup application one oh one. Maybe in another blog post we can go through the makeup application process. All depends on the look you want to realize. I sure hope these few tips will help you with your makeup applications and ensure a smooth and lasting finish.
I thought I would write to let you know that after years of thinking (and even talking) about it, I am finally going to leave you later this year, probably on or around Easter, definitely before the summer.
You won’t really miss me. I was never one for posting photos of my amazing holidays or beautiful children (though they are, naturally) or thousands of awards and shortlists for my poetry (there haven’t been any) or arguments with other poets (ditto) or photos of the jam I have just made or that weekend living in my van.
I used you to spread the word about my blog, which I still love and feel wholly committed to in spite of everyone telling me blogging has died since Twitter. And, to be fair to you, you were good at that: getting the word out, helping me to get noticed, talked about…
This is not a class to get you to mogul level, this is a tutorial on how to ace your poverty score. I want to teach you how to properly mismanage your money using just about three or four tips, because we are all tired of these financial analysts telling us how to spend every hard-earned coin. That is exactly why I am here, big spender to use the money sitting in your account wasting.
You must have heard it before that to make more money you need to spend more money. I do not know exactly how that works because if I buy a new car, how do I get more money off the car after using it? Even if I have to sell it off , I wouldn’t be able to sell it for over the price I bought it, that is because it does not appreciate over time. That is why my first advise to you will be that you neither save nor invest your money. After all, you won’t live forever and other people will enjoy your hard-earned labour after your death. Spend everything you earn and live free,money cannot buy happiness. Why should you give up your short-term luxuries for financial freedom in the future(when you do not even know whether you will BE in the future? The future is here and now.
What the heck, enjoy it all. Live above your means. Make sure you buy everything you cannot afford, so you can always be broke and keep on living paycheck to paycheck. Or should i say food stamp to food stamp? Rely on the government, family, friends or charity to care for you your whole life and do not try to make your life better. ‘money is the root of all evil’. Anyone who is working hard and not making excuses becomes your enemy, and condemn anyone who DARES to call you lazy.
If you can borrow something, why not? Borrow all the money you can to satisfy your wants, and purchase only the most expensive goods in the market so everyone knows that you are a poor high-class person. Even when lending sums of money to people , do not set a deadline, do not have a collateral and do not make it binding by law. Being a foolish lender is being there for one’s neighbour just as the bible instructed. Besides,people will call you wicked and selfish if you refuse to lend even when you do not have. It’s okay to stay poor if your conscience is clear and clean.
Budgeting? Why should you make a budget? Do not calculate your expenses because it does not matter what goes in and out every month because money is meant to be spent?
Financial planning takes so much time and effort but what use is when natural disasters happen and destabilize you? You will jump right back on your feet. That is what will happen. Things always happen, the solution is you being able to brace any storm without being drowned.
As an african parent would tell you ” spend all the money you have hein, when your friends will be driving in range rovers and you’ll be in keke, you will know’
Wisdom is when you figure out that the tips i have typed down will cause you a financial disaster, and you choose to flip the script to financial freedom.
” MONEY IS OLD AND WISE, MAN IS OLDER AND SHOULD THEREFORE BE WISER” Nahlesu
I did not say if you see anything with more than two legs you should not run for your life before thinking about how stupid you will look when someone asks you what it was and you say it was a termite. I will flee from cockroaches day, night and another day, those things(i do not mean to offend those who consume the pest) make me depressed and do not even think of smashing that squishy body around me. Anyway, back to the topic on less stress and more jest, I have a few tips to calm your nerves whether you are a parent trying to cope with a child, or a worker finding it hard at work (or both), or just a person trying to be less…well just less.
” Reading can seriously damage your ignorance” An anonymous quote. I am hardly ever in panic mode because i read alot. When you read, or research you expose yourself to different things and situations beforehand, and believe it or not you will subconsiously form a reaction to that. When you are actually faced with such an incident it will feel like a dejavue due to the knowledge previously acquired. Isn’t that fun? Just gliding through life like a pro because you had already lived it in another life, although I am quite sure I was a monk in my other life.
Another helpful tip is to breathe. Breathing is not only to keep you alive , but to keep you sane. People with anger management issues are always taught to breathe, women in labour are always told to breathe, athletes need to learn how to control their breath in order not to run out of energy. Learn to breathe. As a new employee, or leader or parent, you need to breathe it out. When directly confronted, take a deep breath before reacting. Make sure that you are assessing the situation correctly and if not breathe up some patience and do that. When you are on the road and you need to react quickly, you can breathe after you just swirled away from that oncoming truck. But when someone just pissed you off and you need to grab something and break(like a neck), that is when you need to breathe. This will separate your emotions from your reasoning,because you will definately need your brain.
FEAR is the number one cause of heart attacks. We are always worried, anxious, nervous, afraid, depressed and stressed. This is because we are trying to control things that are beyond our control instead of just adapting. How will you stop the seasons from changing? How will you stop the sun from rising or your best friend from dying? Or trying to stop your child from becoming a painter because you wanted them to become an engineer. You have served your purpose, now let them serve theirs. It is not your master plan, it is Gods master plan. As a leader, do not let the fear of failure make you fall, it should instead make you rise.
This cannot be repeated…AVOID WORKING UNDER PRESSURE. Many people always wait till the last minute to accomplish daily tasks. As i mentioned in my last post about writing down your goals and always having a vision and mission, because the earlier they are accomplished the calmer and more relaxed you will feel. How to STOP Procrastinating
Lastly, do not panic. You are not the first nor the last person to face or be faced or who will face that incident. Will screaming put out the fire? No, water will. Will putting your hands on your head when you failed your test make you pass it? No, but reading hard, and preparing way ahead of time will. Even when you lose a loved one, no amount of grievieng will bring them back. None. An African proverb says ” while crying, keep walking”
THE WORLD (LIFE) ISN’T A PRARIE WITH ONLY ELVES AND FAIRIES.
THE WORLD IS A DESERT WITH HUMANS WHO HURT AND CAN TREAT YOU LIKE DIRT. Nahlesu.
The same way I keep putting off this post to another day to watch Aquaman a second time while going to and from the kitchen, my mouth continuously moving almost choking on my coca-cola zero, is the same way we all sit back and lazy around for another day reassuring ourselves that it is just a day, no harm right? Besides,’ you must rest the body that works the money.’ *winks*
Why should you put off for tomorrow what you can do right now? The world will still rotate if you are not there, people will still continue to live and breathe in your absence. So while you are here why not choose to positively and usefully waste your time?
FIRSTLY YOU need to make goals! What is the use of a goal when you do not even have the money or time to accomplish it? I hear that question. Ask me what a goal is in the first place. In the easiest understanding, a goal is the destination of a journey. So maybe you ask yourself where you are going? When you were little and your parents asked you what you want to be in future and you said a pilot, they started preparing you in that field with all they could offer to push you in that direction. The goal then was probably to send Amanda to aviation academy. Now Amanda is a pilot and their goal has been accomplished. That was a long-term goal. A short-term goal is a daily accomplishment. Many experts believe that in trying to accomplish smaller goals on a daily basis you can easily reach for bigger ones. Goals as small as saving a twenty-five cents(or 100frs) a day to accomplish a bigger goal to have a thousand dollars saved in a month. Once you have a destination, the forces of the universe and your determined subconscious will provide you with all the resources you need to complete your journey. It is up to you to create the time, to make the money because the food will not cook itself, the car will not drive itself and this blog cannot come up with any content for itself either! *lol*
SECONDLY , WRITE THAT DOWN. I cannot overemphasize this. When you write them down it is already a first step towards accomplishing it because your whole body and mind will sync towards that direction. Do not rely on your brain. It has failed many and you are not an exception. It’s like going to the market without a list, then you end up buying so much junk, exceeding your budget and buying more food and stuff than required. Writing it down prepares you for the journey ahead as you will see yourself outlining plans on how to maneuver your way to achieve what you want. When you choose to make that your focal point, waking up early everyday will not be such a chore because you have somthing to do, your mind will not rest until you have what you want. Time will now become more precious to you.
Everyday when you read them out and see how close you are to accomplishment you increase your self-worth and self-esteem. The stumbling blocks cause you to be stronger and fuel your drive to achieve against all odds. With such positivity and fulfillment filling you up you tend to feel happier and you will always want to remain proactive in so many things. Procrastination breeds laziness and because you are so busy hitting goals there will be no time you would not want to usefully and creatively waste. Whenever your consious mind wants to give itself an excuse not to work so hard, your subconsious mind will poke it wide awake to the reality, showing you the consequences of giving up one day.
THIRDLY, EVERYTHING entails sacrifice, patience and HardWork. You will keep procrastinating because you do not have one of these. Fear of failure because you want instant gratification so you choose to remain average because you hsve tried all mehods and none worked. how many times did you try the same method in different ways? How much energy did you put into it, or did you just know from the onset that it was a failure? Mind power can leave you feeling drained after an exciting event or excited after a draining event. Just depends on how you see the world,
Make friends that are as determined as you are to succeed and live a fulfilling life. Find people that you will have meaningful conversations with and enlightening talks.
If your goal is to watch 10 movies a day, make sure there is an outcome for that. Did you learn a new word? a new place? a new culture? Old habits die hard and new habits hardly see the light of day. To be able to put the habit of delaying everything to rest you will need to put in the effort every d day. Stop making excuses, your child will always be fine , your parents will be alright, your friends can take it…
Janet was pregnant. Again. The fifth child in seven years. The third man. Her life had taken a different spin after the third child. Everyone stopped helping her babysit and stopped giving her money too. She felt her family was wicked and heartless to her and her children after all, isn’t God who gives children? She should be blessed and revered for being so fertile and birthing them because other women will have abortions.
Peter quit his job. His only source of income. The pastor told im that he cannot serve two masters at the same time. Peter chose God. His wife took his son and left the house for her parents because she could not stay with an unproductive man. How was his going to church from dawn till dusk unproductive? How can his total submission to the most high be wrong? He believed that God just exposed his enemies, so let them flee from him.
Faith and George have been dating for 10 years. George is an armed robber and Faith is a teacher. She knows what he is doing is wrong but God put her in Georges life to change him. She believes that he will leave his bad ways and become a better man and husband to be. If she leaves him now after all the years they have been through together, God will punish her and she might not even find another man like George.
Carine was diagnosed with HIV. Since then she has already had sex with 50 different men because she wants to spread the disease. Why will God do this to her? How can her own husband infect her? She has been faithful to him since they married, why did he not do the same? Maybe it is Gods way of getting him to calm down and remain faithful, Carine thought.
Martin was heartbroken. But a heartbreak is not the end of the world. It is Gods way of showing you all the other people in the world you were missing. So he goes on a heartbreak spree, after all someone has to break someone elses’ heart. God will understand him and his actions. His family had told him not to date the lady but he was in love. God had already showed him the signs from the beginning when his family said no.
Miriam is a business woman. She sells dishonestly in order to make a heavy profit. God is good to her and keeps her business alive so she can provide for her family. Not everyone is so blessed to have daily bread.
King just watched his younger sister die in a hospital bed because there was no blood donor for a transfusion. She was 18 and still a virgin. She was pure. His friend said God takes away the good ones and besides it was her time. Dont question God because his ways are not ours. Maybe God didn’t want blood in the hospital so she could rest. If there was a donor she would have been alive.
Queen and Joe’s mother was a witch. Everybody knew she was evil and they were all waiting for God to take her life. People like her are from satan. God forbid she touches anyone. She is old and sick and it serves her right as she will reap all the evil she sowed. God will always repay you for the evil or good you do. They are very rich siblings and nobody believes they worked hard to get rich. When their mother passed, people said they sacrificed their mother for money rituals and God will expose them one day.
There are more than a trillion stories I could recount , and many more that you could recount to me. Some of the questions I ask myself are Has this ‘self righteousness’ made us forget that there is nature? Has it made us forget our own free will? Are we always looking for someone to take the blame? Everyone is guilty and nobody is perfect is the word, but nobody accepts that they have done wrong(or whatever wrong means). Are we quick to condemn others? Or do we just hide our true nature?